From a Submariner's Perspective is a weekly column, written in response to the letters sent in to advice columnist "Prudie" at Slate.com. Each week, The Submariner responds to the letter writers in a way that Slate.com author, Emily Yoffe, probably can't (but perhaps would like to...). Each entry is headed with a link to the orginal questions and Yoffe's answers. Enjoy!

Also, if you have questions that you'd like answered by The Submariner, or anyone here at "The Fly", just write to me at smagboy1@gmail.com and I'll forward to the appropriate party/parties for an answer (or you can write to them directly via the e-mail addresses on their pages)! Once the answers are published, I'll drop you a note letting you know.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

...on Stupid Drunken Puking Interns, Among Others

http://www.slate.com/id/2259807/ (7-08-2010) <---Original Prudie Letters Can Be Found There

Hey-hidey-ho, Shippers! How in the hell are you on this fine, fine Prudie Day?! Holy smokes, what a humdinger bunch of letters we’ve got here! I mean, I’m so excited about all the good stuff in store, I may just have to excuse myself! ;-) Okay, maybe not that excited. But still! So, how is everyone? How’s your week been? Your summer? I hope that you’re all enjoying yourselves to the fullest! And, here’s hoping these letters help in that pursuit (they did for me)! So, without further ado, let’s get crackin’!

LW#1: Dear Prudie, I just landed a dream internship in the entertainment industry! Yay for me! On my first day, we had a fabulous project and even had an after party in a bar! Well, I got entirely shit-faced slobbery drunk and wound up back at my boss’ house. When we got there, he repeatedly tried to kiss me! I have no idea why, as I thought he was gay, but, that’s irrelevant, because I then puked on his rug. He took care of me, let me sleep it off on his couch, and even apologized the next day and asked me not to quit. My question is, due to all of this crazy harassment, should I quit? Sue him? Take him down in a blaze of legal glory and then take his job (I am talented)? I mean, this is a pretty heavy issue, Prudie, and I don’t reckon he should get a free pass! What say you? Signed, Trying Hard to (Never) Work in the Entertainment Industry

Dear Dumbass Idiot Knucklehead. So, let me get this straight? You got drunk. At a work party. You then let a boss drive you to his house (what, too drunk to operate your arm to hail a cab)? You then puked in his living room? All of this, and you’re wondering if he was out of line and if you ought to somehow hold him responsible for harassment?! Let me clue you in, you fucking dimwitted, asinine, air-brained, not-taking-responsibility-for-your-own-actions, blaming-others-for-your-shortcomings, foolish ass-wipe. How fucking dare you?! Don’t you realize that there are people out there who are victims of actual harassment? The real kind, you fucking twat? Do you realize that EVERY SINGLE BIT of what happened to you that night was your fault, other than your boss trying to kiss you, which, by the way, dipshit, he didn’t manage to do?!  Yet, somehow, you’ve overlooked EVERY SINGLE BIT of your shitty behavior?! Fine, he tried to kiss you. Boo-fucking-hoo. Let’s put that on Side A of our scales of justice, shall we? Now let’s pile your crimes on Side B? Got so drunk you puked yourself? Check.  Then unwittingly found yourself at your boss’ house, puking in his living room? Check and check.  Blaming others for your behavior instead of understanding who was at fault for where you found yourself? Yep, check.  So, hmmm, given all that, sure, you have an excellent case! Isn’t it obvious?! Please do try to nail this guy for “harassment”. Why not?  And please, oh please, make sure you film it.  I’ve asked this of LWs in the past and they never do it. Which is a shame.

LW#2: Dear Prudie, when my son was five years old, he wanted a very expensive gaming system. My husband and I told him he’d have to save for it himself. And you know what, Prudie?! He did! He holed away every penny of his birthday, Christmas and other special money until he’d saved up over half the cash! My husband and I were so impressed with his frugality that we chipped in the other half. Fast forward two years. My husband’s uncle really liked my son’s gaming system and offered to buy it for nearly two-thirds its original price (on weekly increments of $20). My son saw this as a great way to buy the latest system and eagerly agreed. Well, even though his payments were erratic, the uncle made most of the payments and my son bought the new system. But, after losing his job, the uncle has not made the last $20 payment. It’s been months, Prudie. I find this behavior reprehensible! How can I make the uncle pay what he owes my fucking son?! Signed, Trying Hard Not to Shred Someone’s Face

Dear Tightwad. Do you want me to vindicate your feelings? Okay. Yes, the uncle sucks, I guess (does he even know he owes the last payment?  Could it be he just forgot to carry the two?  Or maybe you did?). So yepper, he sucks.  About twenty whole dollar's worth of suck. There. Happy? Now, let’s talk about the lessons your son can learn from this whole soap opera. This is a great way for him to learn that even people who should do better sometimes don’t. And that there are all sorts of reasons for it. Some excusable, some not. You know what else he can learn about people? That some are assholes who dwell on petty slights and some move on and tackle the next big challenge. Just sayin’. I wonder if your husband is pissed about this, or if he has already chalked this up to “Uncle Ed being Uncle Ed”? My guess is that he has because I’m guessing you’re not the font of knowledge and wisdom from whence your son gets his good graces. Why don’t you take a page from them both and move on? It’ll do your stress levels some good. But hey, if you need the drama, take that new game system from your son and tell him that until he collects that $20, he doesn’t deserve the system! Tell him that you’re only doing this to teach him responsibility so that he doesn’t end up like Uncle Ed. And please film it, if you do? Please?

LW#3: Dear Prudie, I’m a successful, powerful, Armani suit-wearing executive. I’m also gay. That last fact has never really mattered in my group of co-workers, but recently a group of us was talking about two straight female celebrities kissing on an awards show. While most everyone agreed that it was just a stunt, one woman, with whom I’ve always been close, went on and on about how disgusted she was by that “trash” and how there were kids watching! She ranted about it, Prudie! As you might imagine, I took this a little personally. Since then, she’s apologized and said her comments “weren’t aimed at me.” I’ve accepted her apology, but I’m still pretty miffed about it. It’s hurt our close relationship and she can tell that something’s up, even asking me if I’m still mad. I don’t want this to have an impact our personal relationship, but, how can I put this behind me? Signed, Out and Proud, but also Pretty Pissed

Dear Pissed. Dude, you just got a look into this woman’s true self. Perhaps your first one ever. Had the TV couple been hetero, but they just so happened to be black and white, and had the “stunt” been them kissing, how would your black colleagues react to such words from this woman? Her lame-assed efforts at damage control aside, you’ve described this woman’s words as having been “ranted”, making you “uncomfortable” and “bothered”, belying a tone of “disgust toward gay people”. And you’re wondering how to put this behind you? Here’s what I’d do. I’d tell her exactly how her words felt! I’d tell her exactly how you took them, and, how her excuse that the comment wasn’t “aimed” at you is a fucking, goddamned cop out! If she’s a bigot, she’s a bigot. And all the “oh, I didn’t mean you” in the world isn’t going to change that. If all she was talking about was the kissing, and the gender of those kissing was irrelevant to her, that’d be one thing. But I’m thinking you’re intelligent enough to know and sense the difference, and I’m not going to insult you by insinuating that you missed those cues. Listen, there’s not enough time in the world for people like this. I’d put this behind you by putting her behind you! And if you do, and, you know, if you want, please film it.

LW#4: Dear Prudie, my younger sister is pregnant with her first. She’s going fucking batshit crazy, Prudie! She’s registered for two stores. No, not at two stores (although that’s true), but for two stores’ worth of baby stuff. She’s insane! Prudie, she’s having four baby showers. I think it makes her look greedy, crazy and ├╝ber materialistic. I believe that she’s embarrassing herself. What can I do or say without upsetting her? Signed, Excited But Ashamed Auntie

Dear Auntie. Thank you for a sane letter. Well, relatively-speaking. Look, you are forgetting what registries are for. They’re for listing stuff that you want. They’re not for, “Hey, you guys need to buy me every item on this list or I’ll cry!” It’s like, if I have a choice between two versions of a thing and I register for one, it’s just showing you my preference between the two. It doesn’t mean you have to buy it! It’s a wish list! And that’s okay. And, too, if you think back to before your first little one, you’ll remember how nuts you were with all of the expectations of how great you’d be at parenting, how you’d never pick up a pacifier off the floor and lick it clean before putting it back in baby’s mouth (hell, you probably thought you’d never even use a pacifier!). Now you know that you don’t even have to lick ‘em, just wipe ‘em off on your pants and call it good. But your sister is in the first-time-parents mode. So have a little sympathy. But, as for the four showers, that is a bit crazy. However, it’s also none of your business. The only person in this world that you can control is you. So, buy her a nice present, attend a shower or two (whatever you want), and enjoy yourself. If she asks for advice, give it. Without judgment. If you see she’s doing something stupid (like buying a toddler bed before even giving birth), you can offer that she might better-spend her money elsewhere and how that bed isn’t going to be used for quite awhile. But not in a judgmental way. Only as the voice of experience. Make sure to check yourself for jealousy at all turns and bite your tongue more than you use it. I’m sure everything will be fine by the time the new bundle of joy is out of diapers. It always works out in the end. Honest! Hang in there, okay? Most new parents are a little nuts, it’s just that they’re usually not your sister. Here’s betting you were a little nuts in your sister’s eyes! Hell, we recently had two new dads here who, in their new-parent exuberance, were going to go sans diapers...

****
Alrighty there, Shippers, that about does it! I’m off for Germany tomorrow for work, so next week’s column will be coming to you straight from the Mother Land (provided you’re of German descent). It’s okay, though, as they have ‘net connections there in Europe. Honest! Fair winds and following seas to you, Shippers! And many happy returns...

28 comments:

  1. Ahoy, Captain Smag, are you going to Germany on your submarine or some other ship --perhaps an air ship?

    Enjoy your trip, don't work too hard and kiss the EU soil for me. (the Mother Land seems to have expanded, what Charlemagne, Napoleon and Hitler tried to do has been done on its own without a war. If only such wisdom could prevail....)

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  2. asking for a "friend"July 8, 2010 at 3:46 PM

    LW #1 - lets go out sometimes for cocktails and then back home and talk about the first thing that pops up; :).

    lw #2 - break uncle's leg; :).

    lw #3 and #4 - who cares? :).

    Smag, Haben Sie eine sichere Reise!

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  3. Ah, Smag'meister put down that frosty lager of beer right now! Stop giggling at the Fraulein's and get to work! OK, now you are free to break all the rules...and it's important for you to know that I am taping this as I write....why I've no clue..but you seem to be into video this week so I shall acquiesce.

    Ah the letter's this week...not one Moron in the bunch...one moron in training but that's it and the winner is...

    LW1...sheesh...at least she didn't say she found herself with her leg's in the air and could not figure out how that happened. I must say I did find it a delight to hear that she puked on the guy's rug... fitting somehow. I want to hear that conversation when she tells her boss she thought him gay and the kiss to be rather startling for a gay man...un huh...alrighty then...she's got much to learn and she's in the lion's den now...Bi-sexual...heard of that one? Not that there is anything wrong with that...DISCLAIMER ALERT TO CONTINUE TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT AT ALL TIME'S. Phew! Almost fell into a deep dark hole on that one...good thing I know how to use that disclaimer alert.

    LW2 Whatever. Get a hobby seems to be in order here. Last time that was used though it did not go over well...but I like it! I like it a lot!

    LW3 Many disclamer's will be needed here so this is me diving off the deep end. I truly believe everyone regardless of gender deserves to have someone to love and all the bells and whistles us married hetro's get..period. Every little one of us on earth...but/and/or do I want to watch two women slurp each other on National TV just for the "shock factor" no, really not so much, and I really don't need to see Brad and Angelina suck face either, again on National TV. And I feel the same way about Al Gore and his campaign kiss! Please stop! And two guy's having a deep kiss, nope, I feel the same. So for me it's really not who is doing the kissing but why all the kissing on an awards show? Award's show? Is there some "shock award" that I don't know about? Because I am not as shocked as I am bored out of my mind with it? Sheesh...get a new shtick will you Hollywood? And I am not a prude but how many ways can one dance one's tongue for an audience? Slip, sliding away...my brain is thinking, I need a hobby..while they are tonguing each other with abandon on my Big Screen High Def...are we progressing towards a bit of healthy humping next to entertain the masses? Sheesh. I need a moment to myself.

    LW4 Who the hell cares? No one but you. NO ONE...you are it. Repeat after me this affirmation...I only have to take care of my world...now say it again until you understand. Then go have a icy tall drink with an umbrella and celebrate the fact that it's not you who is pregnant!

    Happy trails Smag'meister~darkale..try to behave...you can at least try while you are out of the country? No, not so much? Safe travel's my friend...until we meet again...;o)

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  4. Greetings, Kati! If only such wisdom, indeed! I will absolutely kiss the soil for you. Debbie has asked that I don't do anything else with the soil, but I will plant a behaved kiss on it. ;-)

    Good cheer! :-)

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  5. Ahoy there, asking for a "friend"! Good stuff and very succinct, too! :-)

    As for the travel wish, please feel free to use the "du" form with me as I feel we're friends enough for that. ;-)

    Good cheer! :-)

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  6. Ahoy, Debbie, and many greetings! :-) Oh, no worries, I behave when there. My boss is going with me, and I'll be expected to do a lot more work there than play, so, such is life. Now, when I go there on my own, that's a whole other story! :-P

    Good thoughts on all, and, just so you know, I'm with you on LW#3. No need to be all slipping each other the tongue on the high-def close up. Just no need. But, in my own defense, I'm giving the LW credit for knowing the difference between someone being upset about typical Hollywood over-share, and displays intimating a sexual orientation with which his friend does not "accept". But, if the outburst was only about the excesses of Hollywood, I'm right there with you! :-)

    Much good cheer, Debbi! :-)

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  7. Hey Smag! Hope your having a great summer! We may be moving this fall so that's all I can think about these days. I just wanted you to know that even though we disagreed on LW3 I still love you!
    Your answer to LW4 is perfect. So what if the new mom is going a little nuts! At least she is happy to be having a baby. And I have no words for LW1. You said everything.

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  8. Hail, SB1!

    Fine form on L1.

    As for L3, I am not surprised that people who have relatively little experience of anti-gay sentiment are second-guessing someone who has been the object of it for quite some time, as you caught. Not many people seem to think it's possible to accept the apology yet not be able to rekindle the supposed closeness, which is the most interesting part of the commentary thus far to me.

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  9. Why is it assumed that the woman in L3 is homophobic? Seriously, I have a problem with PDA of that extreme from anyone. How many times do I have to explain what those two people are doing to my 5 year old before it does start to really tick me off? It has exactly nothing to do with their sexual orientation, and I've found hetero couples are the more prevalent offenders of my (admittedly prudish) sensibilities. And I've gone off on rants about couples of either orientation (complete with disgusted looks) because it downright ticks me off to have to explain to my child what person A and Person B are doing to each other. Ick. Sorry, but I took LW3 as being way to sensitive and taking it as a homophobic rant, when it likely could have been anything but...

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  10. I wanted to add, I did notice this was addressed, but dang. I couldn't find in the original letter where the woman said it was disgusting because it was two women, rather just that it was disgusting. Seems to me to be a rather large difference in statements that would have been addressed by the LW, and instead was completely omitted (likely because it wasn't said?).

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  11. Ahoy Janiebell! I hope that you have a wonderful move! I know they can be stressful, but, they don't have to be! Here's hoping that yours is wonderful and that your new place is a blast! :-) As for LW#3, please read my upcoming comments to Michelle (below)...

    Good cheer! :-)

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  12. Greetings hrumpole, and ahoy! :-) Thank you for the kind words re: LW#1. Strange no one has taken me to task about that as I figured plenty of people would gig me for blaming the victim. I'm glad it's *not* happened, but I was steeled for it. :-)

    As for LW#3, I agree completely, and, I hope that I can elucidate my point, below, to Michelle...

    Good cheer! :-)

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  13. Ahoy Michelle, and Welcome! :-)

    While I understand your frustration, I think that you're missing a VERY KEY point! It's not what she said in her outburst. You correctly surmise that, were it just those words, she could have meant any number of things. It's the apology (as Mermaid so wisely noted in another conversation thread)!

    After her "rant", had the LW's "friend" apologized to the dramatic, oversharing, frequent PDA woman in the group, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't aimed at *you*!" then it would have been clear her concern was drama, oversharing, oversharing and PDA. Or, had she issued a general, "Wow guys, sorry for the outburst! I don't know where that came from!" we'd have no foothold to say what her intent was. Instead, what she did was TURN TO THE GAY MAN and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't aimed at *you*!" Which, of course, means that, while it might not have been aimed at *him*, it was squarely aimed at the homosexual implications of the kiss. If it wasn't, why would the thought even cross her mind causing the apology, and, too, if it wasn't, how hard would it have been to clarify to the LW (if it was his reaction that caused her apology)?!

    No, in this case, you're wrong, Michelle. The clues are right there in bold type and you're giving her a free pass. Which is fine, but, I can't agree to it.

    I realize you're a little exercised over this letter, Michelle, but bigotry and discrimination exercises me. I loathe it. With a passion that could easily be described as biased and discriminatory (as ironic as that may be), so I do sometimes jump the gun and have to check myself constantly. But not in this case. The evidence is clear. Not to mention that I'm willing to trust the LW until he gives me reason not to--and there was no indication in the letter that he is prone to the dramatic. To the contrary, he's looking for ways to *keep* the relationship.

    Good cheer! :-)

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  14. "Let me clue you in, you fucking dimwitted, asinine, air-brained, not-taking-responsibility-for-your-own-actions, blaming-others-for-your-shortcomings, foolish ass-wipe."

    That's it! I'm using this at some point in the future. I'll give you credit, Smag--- I'll use MLA format and everything....

    Anyway, I LOVED your response to that chick!

    How the hell are ya? I hope you enjoy Germany and the weather there is fine! We've been having HOT AS HADES weather here where I'm at! Dang! The 100s! What would Mark Twain say if he were still around?

    Thanks for a great, return-to-snark week!

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  15. I still don't know. I think it's one of those exchanges that you really had to be there to understand. Did she go of about it being disgusting, only to have LW3 sit there gaping at her with tears in his eyes, so she addressed him specifically? Hard to say. If he was the only one reacting poorly, I may have made the same comment, despite have exactly zero homophobic or anti-gay sentiments. (Seriously, like, my best friend...) If someone reacts like you are personally attacking them, you may turn to them in reaction and say "I wasn't talking about *you*, why are you taking this personally?" I still think we have an over sensitive lw, regardless. Even if she did mean it, did he really think that he was never going to meet someone who doesn't like his orientation in life? I've met plenty of people who don't like my life choices and inherent personal traits, and that isn't really surprising to me (on the contrary, I'm amazed when people do really like my abrasive, tactless self). I just think there's a lot in this letter that needs context, and it seems to me it was a "shoulda been there" situation. But hey. I've been wrong before. :)

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  16. And by the way, I loved you answer to LW1. Seriously, it reminded me of the lawyer that wanted to blackmail the senior partner she thought she walked in on while he was taking care of business. I kept waiting for her to ask if she should write the blackmail letter in newspaper print or just do it on a typewriter.

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  17. Herd"T"hinner clues you in, you fucking dimwitted, asinine, air-brained, not-taking-responsibility-for-your-own-actions, blaming-others-for-your-shortcomings, foolish ass-wipe:

    ...well, not really. But like Bella, I believe that it's a phrase that can be used on many occasions! Like as an opening to a companywide email. Or for teens who think that's the "prayer" to use at Thanksgiving to show their displeasure at being "volunteered" to lead said prayer. Or as the opening line for Fox's new, edgy, smash-hit comedy!

    Also dann. Wie geht es Ihnen, mein Herr Smaggen? Oh, yeah, used the formal form, oh yeah! And maybe the wrong adjective endings. I never could get the hang of those.

    LW1 - oh, alcohol: is there anything you CAN'T do? Smagbrau, I was hoping you'd chew on and spit out the LW. Damned crazy kids and their crazy kid ways. HEY! (rapraprap) GET OFF MY LAWN! YEAH, YOU, YOU DAMNED HOOLIGANS!

    Sorry, what? Some damned crazy college kids were getting drunk and puking on my lawn again. I thought they were all gay, till they started kissing each other.


    LW2 - I'm not alone on WTF'ing the parents, right? Smaggenschweigenhoffenauber, I didn't really get that from your reply, so amn't sure. So I'll say, WTF, PARENTS?? $20? TWENTY DOLLARS?!? I've forgiven hundreds before, and for a friend that I don't even like that much. Ye gods, he's unemployed now. Fuck! But I do agree with one of the DP commenters who was, of course, confident that Uncle was no longer playing the video games, but was devoted full-time to jobhunting. Don't be like me, Uncle!! Don't fall into the abyss of thousands of hours lost to Lego Star Wars! Not when Lego Indiana Jones is much better.

    ...What? It's not good advice, but it's advice!

    LW3 -
    ... You know, I'm staying outta this one. I think she was both disgusted by the shock value of the stunt (Madonna and... Britney, was it?), and doesn't think much of gays, either. There, see? I can't be wrong! WOOHOO! YIPYIPYIP! OO-RAH!

    LW4 - Babies. zzzzzzzzzzz....

    Sorry I missed last week's comments, but I did read your replies, Herr Smagschnitzel! Then I got into other stuff, and then it was Thursday again.

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  18. To Ms Michelle - I appreciate your good intentions, but find it a little insulting that so many O So Wise Pundits are so happy to tell LW3 that he has completely misinterpreted a prejudicial rant when a) he was there and none of the OSWPs were, b) as someone who has been open and out for some time, he probably has a great deal more experience in interpreting the nuances of anti-gay rants than 95% or more of the OSWPs who are condescending to him, and c) there doesn't seem to be any real hint that LW3 is the sort of Drama Queen who thrives on seeing and crying Homophobia! every time he turns around.

    I have been in the position the OSWPs are attributing to the female friend, having once said something that came out as if it were indicative of prejudice against a group of people. When I realized I had hurt the feelings of a close friend, I did not toss off the line, "Nothing against YOU." Had I been the female friend and realized how what I'd said had gone well past what I'd meant, the apology I'd have offered would have matched the apology I did extend in real life. By the end of the day LW3 would have had it expressed for him in writing quite extensively and probably repeated two or three times for good measure exactly what I had intended to convey and how I did not hold the (justly in that incident) perceived prejudice against the group of people that included him, and how right he had been to take offence.

    I grant that some of the OSWPs on the That's Not What She Meant Bandwagon have shown some trepidation before telling an openly gay person that he doesn't know an anti-gay rant when he hears one. You yourself say, "it could have been anything but," and at least put up a later post with "shoulda been there". But I suspect that that would be about the minimum in qualifiers that SB1 would advance before saying a female LW was wrong and that a rant of her male colleague's hadn't been sexist.

    As to whether he expected never to meet anyone who disapproved of his orientation, he seems enough of an adult to have encountered anti-gay prejudice before. Chances are he's had some friends who didn't exactly approve, but this could be the first time he's heard a rant of such a level of disgust from someone he'd considered a good friend.

    I heartily approve of your idea for the blackmail letter, by the way. I'd suggest she cut words out of actual Last Wills; there would be a nice legal touch to that.

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  19. German men are hot. Bring back one for me, okay? ;-)

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  20. Ahoy, Bella! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed my rant. And yes, please do feel free to use at any time. Credit is not necessary, but, interestingly, as my current work/study is in the medical field, I've had to learn the APA format (and after years of MLA, it's an interesting process!).

    As for the weather, believe it or not, they're under the same conditions as you. It broke 100 here yesterday. The difference? Because this area is normally so temperate, they don't have A/C here. :-( So, here I am, sitting my hotel room, typing this with the ceiling fan going full blast, the windows wide open and I'm sweating like a pig. Oh well. Here's hoping that tomorrow will be cooler. :-)

    Good cheer! :-)

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  21. Ahoy, Michelle. Okay, I can agree that one has to make assumptions with this letter, and that it's one of those deals where you sort of have to be there to catch the nuances, etc. I'll also freely admit that I'm trusting the LW's version in this case as he's given me no reason to distrust him. But, for certainty, I will agree that we can't know for sure.

    That said, like hrumpole, I don't think the LW expected never to meet anyone who dislikes him or something about him. I just think it was more surprise and hurt about getting those feelings from someone with whom he'd felt so close (that's another thing that lends credence to his letter for me, by the way, but I've already agreed to let that one go...). ;-)

    Anyway, good cheer! :-)

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  22. Ahoy, 'T'! All is well with me, thank you for asking. Or, would rather, "Alles gut! Danke. Mit dich?"

    As for LW2, I'm sorry if I left any room for questions about how I felt about the parents. ;-) Here, let me quote, "You know what else he can learn about people? That some are assholes who dwell on petty slights and some move on and tackle the next big challenge. Just sayin’." Think the LW missed that those words were aimed squarely at her forehead? ;-)

    As for LW#3, you're absolutely correct! How could you not be. ;-)

    Good cheer, 'T'! :-)

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  23. Ahoy, Nachtmusik! I don't know if I can fit any in my suitcase, but,I would like to point out that, culturally, they're still a little behind on gender issues. You ready to train someone if I do bring him back? ;-)

    Good cheer!:-)

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  24. Damn it, Smaggie, i had a simply brilliant 2,000 word riposte to your usual nonsense but when i went to post it, instead of hitting the 'post comment' box, i accidentally shot my neighbour in the back. Ah, well, forget it, Smaggie, it's Chinatown. Or Oakland.

    One or the other.

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  25. herd"T"hinner ethelmermans thusly:

    In honor of LW1 and that Greatest Industry in the World, Entertainment (aka SHOW BUSINESS), here's a little ditty:

    There's NO business like SHOW business
    Like NO business I knowwww
    Everybody's got that creepy feeling
    Everything that money will allow

    Nowhere could you have that happy feeling
    When you are puking
    Onyourboss's coouuuch

    There's no PEOPLE like show PEOPLE
    "Is he gay? Well, I don't knoooooow"

    Yesterday he tried to take you way too far,
    But you keeled over and there you are
    Next day in the break room, hon, he's hung his star

    Let's go over to HR!

    There's no PEOPLE like show PEOPLE, they smile after their "blow."
    Even with a turkey who won't fire your ass,
    cuz they don't pay you, any cash??,
    Still you think Dear Prudie may have got your back,
    Let's go on with the SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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  26. I love you all...

    For all your ranting...

    All your prose...

    And even the show song's...T you are having quite the day!

    I love each and every one of you, mostly for not being moron's, you know me my tolerance for stupid people is still at an all time low and still...I don't see this changing anytime soon.

    I laughed, and that felt so good today. And I believe my favorite line this week is....Thanks for a great, return-to-snark week! The Snark week got me! Hell, this week Tarquin got me laughing.

    I am reeling from one of those pesky life things that you never, ever, in a million years think possible. One of those why would it? How could it? Movie material for sure or at the least a 30 minute sitcom. I'll write about it soon once I finish gathering all my thought's.

    It's crazy in a Aw fer the love-a Mike way...

    Happy trails everyone...

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  27. And LW3...you know how human emotion's sometimes surprise us at the oddest times...when you believe you think one way and then bada-bing something comes flying out of your mouth that is the complete opposite as to what you thought you thought? Criminy, did you get that sentence, I can't seem to structure it any better today. Or your actions are the complete opposite of who you thought you were? Or maybe it is a surprise of how your brain sorts through visual data?

    I walked into the mall and standing at the "You are here" board was this pair of blinding white high heels with black hose in a dress, my first thought was about the white shoes with black hose, just not a good look, a fashion blunder. So as I walk past I want to see who is wearing this get up, and out of this long sleeve cuffed (shirt waist) dress...I am startled to see these very masculine hands, they were huge as baseball mitt's, so startling coming out of those pristine church lady cuffs.

    So as I am mentally taken aback while sorting visual data I search out this face gazing at the board to find a matching very masculine face under a wig. More for my mind to sort.

    I was looking at a cross dresser who truly needed a woman friend to help him with his choice in shoes and hose...and my brain was stumbling to put this all together. My own response in what took all of 5 seconds startled me. It was unkind of me to think his hands looked like baseball mitt's.

    This encounter caused me to begin thinking about how we react when the picture does not fit what our brain is used to seeing as the norm? I now wonder if I had to explain my immediate reaction if I could do so without looking like a huge freak of homophobic nature? I now understand I don't even have the vocabulary needed to figure out how I go about understanding cross dressing, how to reconcile my reaction against what I really truly believe I believe. And that is that each of us on earth deserves to love and be loved and we each deserve to be able to be what we are within those parameter's of kindness, honor and respect. (This is my political disclaimer attempt again for pedophiles, abuser's, my no harm to other's statement).

    I found my reaction to be less than what I ever would have thought of myself. I've no idea where I am going with this, but I felt the need to share, it was so odd. I hope next time my brain is not so disrupted by what it saw VS what it thought it should see?

    My goal is not to be so caught off guard by my own brain...I was embarrassed by my own reaction and I was alone at the time.

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  28. Ahahaha... yes! I can be a dominatrix and whip him into shape. :-P

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