From a Submariner's Perspective is a weekly column, written in response to the letters sent in to advice columnist "Prudie" at Each week, The Submariner responds to the letter writers in a way that author, Emily Yoffe, probably can't (but perhaps would like to...). Each entry is headed with a link to the orginal questions and Yoffe's answers. Enjoy!

Also, if you have questions that you'd like answered by The Submariner, or anyone here at "The Fly", just write to me at and I'll forward to the appropriate party/parties for an answer (or you can write to them directly via the e-mail addresses on their pages)! Once the answers are published, I'll drop you a note letting you know.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

...on Andragogging the Pedagog (02/25/2010) <---Original Prudie Letters Can Be Found There

Hey-hidey-ho shippers! How in the hell are you all on this fine, fine Prudie Day?! All here is as well as it can be, I suppose. The sun has not returned, but, as we noted last week, it will. And, in the meantime, I know that it’s closer each day. How can that be bad? Plus, with each passing day, we’re closer to the next Prudie Day! And I know that can’t be bad! :-) And, since we find ourselves at a fine, fine Prudie day right now, with a whole new set of letters, why don’t we get crackin’?

LW#1: Dear Prudie, my son is a very sweet, very normal, very wonderful boy, but... he has something strange going on that I’m so embarrassed about, and so confused about, that I can’t even bring myself to talk to a professional. Instead, I decided to write to an anonymous Internet advice columnist (that’s you!). How does this work?  Do I just tell you?  Okay, here’s the thing: my son has a fetish for rubber gloves, Prudie. Oh.My.God! You have no idea what a weight is lifted from my life by just saying that out loud! I feel heard!  He’s had it for awhile, Prudie, this fetish. Truth is, I guess it’s been since he was little. I have ignored all of the possible implications of someone so young even knowing what a rubber glove is, inside its package and all, but, my ignoring the implications or the fetish hasn’t made either go away. So, fast foward until now.  He’s 13. I recently found that he’s been cruising the Internet, visiting glove fetish sites, ordering black rubber gloves with spiraling nodules on the fingers (“360 degrees and graduated, for her pleasure”), and just generally starting to fall into what will certainly become a glove-related and embarrassing bottomless pit. Whatever should I do? How about you get over your embarrassment and go talk to someone who specializes in this sort of thing--you know, for your son’s sake? He is the one we need to be concerned with, okay? Oh, and how about you do it, oh, say eight years ago or so when you started noticing this “odd” behavior you asshattin' fuckburger (with bacon!)? Look, that time lost is spilt milk, but, holy shit, your kid is practically crying out for your help now! And no, I’m not talking about help in buying him more gloves goddammit! Wake up! Your son’s mental and emotional health is at stake. I don’t know a thing about fetishes, and I don’t know what can and can’t be done to help (or should and should not be done), but I sure as fuck know that I would not start with writing an Internet advice columnist to find out. Wake up, smell the latex and be a parent! And that might mean just learning that this is not any sort of big deal and helping your son become comfortable in his own skin, you know?  But, until you find out, from a professional who tries to help, not harm, your son (with you being his advocate, not his nemesis), you'll never know.  Damn.

LW#2: Dear Prudie, I have a best friend whom I love, l-o-v-e, love! She’s so great that she’s the greatest great that there ever was great!  She's even greater than chocolate cake! And that’s pretty darned great, Prudie! She’s the bestest person in the whole wide world! Yay! But... Well. She’s also a bitch. See, along with being my best friend, she’s my boss. And at work? She’s a total bitch. She can spend all day chewing me out for nothing! But then, after work, she’s all about apologizing and wanting to be friendly. I can’t take it anymore, Prudie. I love my friend, but hate my boss. What should I do? Hmmm, I’m not sure what your definition of a “great person” is, but, in my book, anyone who can frequently go off on another person is an “abusive asshole” (and yes, you can do air quotes around that if you want). I don’t care if it’s “only at work”. That type of person is an abusive, mother fucking, shit-stained, asshattin' fuckburger (with cheese, again), abusive asshole. That’s A-Double-S-hole! Yay, asshole! Sigh. Further, if this person is such a good friend, if she is “easy going and mellow; [if you] share the same sense of humor and have always been comfortable in each other's company” then I’m not sure that I can trust your judgment. I mean, if that truly was the case, you could simply talk to her and say, “Holy fuck, Charlene, you are a fucking raging bitch to me at work! Why? Would you dare treat any of your other colleagues that way? Do you do it because we’re friends and you reckon you can get away with it on me? Are you on some sort of fucking latex glove-wearing power trip or something thinking that I’m just going to bend over and take being your toy?! And without the lube?  I mean, seriously, holy fuck woman!” If you were truly friends, you could say that, point blank. Perhaps you could leave out the cursing and the bit about the un-lubed glove, but, you know, the rest of it.  But, you’re not really friends, though, are you? Even in your personal life, she’s the boss and you’re the shat-on sidekick, am I right? Right. You always have been. You always do what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants. The fact that she doesn’t act this way to anyone else at work (and you know that she doesn’t) is indicative of this dynamic and you need to address it. Now. Go to her, it doesn’t matter if it’s at work or at home, or whatever, and just say, “Charlene, I can’t and won’t be treated this way anymore. If you’ve got a problem with me, you need to deal with me in a professional manner. I’m a professional and I will accept nothing less.” And then, unless she’s the owner of the company, you stand by that with an iron will. You are a professional, right? Don’t you imagine you should be treated like one? No matter what, though, I strongly suggest bringing your résumé up to snuff and start sending it out. You should always have it up to snuff anyway, regardless of how happy you are, but you should definitely have it that way right now. As you note, in this economy, you can’t afford not to.

LW#3: Dear Prudie, I live in a small apartment with my nearly-perfect dog and our sub-pond-scum bastard of a roommate. The roommate has actually taken to abusing my dog, Prudie, saying, in the sweetest of sweet voices, “Oh, you are such an ugly, smelly little rat.” I find this to be highly offensive and want to turn my roommate in to the ASPCA, as well as beat my roommate with a rubber hose. Is there an ethical dilemma in having these feelings?  What should I do? Okay, I’m going to make this brief. Talk to your roommate. Amazing, eh? Okay, thanks for writing in... Oh, what? That’s not enough advice? Okay, how about this, then, you flaming smegma and diarrhea combo-burrito. Don’t you ever use a word like “abusing” when referring to a situation like this ever again, you got me, you horrific drama queen? “Abuse” is something that you clearly have never witnessed or else you wouldn’t dare use that word in this context. Holy fucking shit, my rubber hose hand is sorely tempted right now! All you need to do is just fucking take an adult pill, pull up your fucking big boy or big girl panties and talk to the roommate and say to them that their words to the dog are bothering you. Say that you love your dog and that it hurts your feelings to have those words used to describe the dog, even if the dog is clueless about their meaning. This is about you, not the dog, you idiot. And further, if you want to talk about mistreatment of the dog, you’re the one using the dog as a pawn in your dislike of your roommate. I bet that when it’s getting near dinnertime after a long day, you say shit like, “Oh my god, Mr. Kibbles, I’m starving. I'm famished!  What about you, Mr. Kibbles? Do you want some steak? Lobster?” Okay, I’m done with you. Abuse? No. Starving? You have no clue. Ethical dilemma? Ha!  You being a drama queen, flaming asshole idiot, though? Yes. In spades.

LW#4: Dear Prudie, I’m an introverted (but happy) math über-geek. I write math pedagogy books. I’m not even kidding! My 30th birthday is coming up and my husband wants to throw a party for me. I do have friends, Prudie. Great ones, in fact. But, since I don’t write andragogy books, I don’t really know how to help them all have a good time together. They’ve never met. Should I just cancel the party, seeing as they’ve never been in one another’s presence and are bound to have an awful time together? Yes. You should. I mean, fuck, no one ever ended up having a good time by accident or from a situation where one would not expect to have any fun. That’s just inconceivable. The fact that eleven engaging, intelligent, autonomous adults who’ve never met could actually have fun is so farfetched as to be almost scary to think about. I’ve never found myself in such a situation, and, if I did, I’d have such anxiety that I’d probably pass out and piss myself. So, yeah, I’m afraid you should cancel the party... Wait for it... Okay, enough of me being a smartass. ;-)  Listen, I understand your concern. Why not share that concern with your husband and friends? Tell them that you’d really like them to come and share this night with you, but, man, it makes you super nervous because they’ve never met each other. They already know what an introvert you are, and they’ll see that you’re doubly worried, and they’ll get that. It’s okay! If they’re the husband and friends you’ve described, not only will they all understand, but, you’ll be in for a wonderful, incredible evening. And please, please, please enjoy yourself. You will be, after all, the birthday girl.

Well shippers, that about does it for me for the week. A reader sent me an e-mail asking what I thought of the move by the Department of Navy to gender integrate the submarine force. As a result, I’ll be putting together an article on that very subject and posting it over on “SmagBoy’s Dock” within the next couple of days (there's already other submarine non-fiction there, if you're interested). I’ll let you know in the comments section below when I do that, and maybe I’ll even get it top posted on “The Fly” if it’s worthy. The short of it, though, is that I see nothing wrong with women on submarines. Let that percolate a bit and we’ll talk on it in a couple of days. Good cheer to you all. Fair winds and following seas, too! And, can we please, please, please not talk about food this week! You guys are making me weak in the knees with all of the great stuff you’re suggesting (well, maybe a little food talk, but, not a lot, okay?!)!  :-)


  1. I contend that a latex fetish is the best thing that could possibly happen to a teenager. That kid could end up actually LIKING to wear condoms, and that'd be peace of mind to his parents!

  2. Hey Fox. I agree, but, liking to wear condoms on one's hands isn't going to do anyone any good regarding birth control. Or, wait? Is he not wearing the gloves on his hands?! Oh my! (SmagBoy light bulb now on...) ;-)

  3. Way to get the requested invectives in, Mon Capitan!

  4. Well, you know, Libby, it's important here at 'From a Submariner's Perspective, Inc.' ®©™ that we here in the lagoon are one big happy community. ;-)

  5. Yay! Said TWICE no less! Thank you Smag!

    Also, good on ya for putting disdain where disdain is due. The first LW made me want to smack her with a glove....

  6. Bravo, darling! I KNEW we could count on you for the smackdown that these... people ... deserved.

    Now how the hell am I going to top that? Hmmmm..... I see some possibilities here.

  7. Hey Corey! I aim to please, don't'cha know. :-) Plus, this was the perfect week for it. Now, granted, I may have gone a little overboard, but, such life as a submariner, you know?

    Good cheer!

  8. Hey Messy! Well, I can't lay down the smack even half as well as you can, so, please do bring some of your own special sauce to the party! It's sorely needed because these LWs this week need a triple dose of reality. I can't wait! :-)

  9. As the owner of two pets, occasionally referred to as "mr. stinky foots" and "miss poops-a-lot", LW3 made me gasp-- am i being mean to my animals?? does this mean i'm going to hell?? do they secretly hate me?? --or would have, except my BRAIN started working & i remembered that wait, OMG they don't know what i'm saying! shocker!! did anyone else think the letters this week were kind of ridiculous? nice work with the ltd mtl though Smag:)

  10. Oh that was beautiful! And LW #3... yeah. holy cow, verbally abusing the dog? Child has no clue...

    Nailed it, Smag. Kudos :)

  11. Ahoy there Captain! The lagoon must be ripe with creative magma this week. What an explosion of literary gems: "flaming smegma and diarrhea combo-burrito"! How potent is that! (is it inspired by submarine food?)

    I didn't know about rubber glove fetish sites.... hmm, I might just take a look for the sake of anthropological science.... You know some years ago when I first got on the web I accidentally landed on some furry fetish sites. I was astonished that anyone could find Mickey Mouse sexy... but as they say there's no accounting for taste and even less for fetishes...

    Oops, I too call my dogs names. I call them "monsters" and they even good naturally respond to it, particularly if I wave a hot dog at them. But I suspect that in their eyes, we bipeds are monstruous ourselves, particularly when it rains at the back door and after a scientific investigation they find out that it also rains at the front door, and, no, we idiotic humans can't switch it off!

  12. Oh, now you've got me bad to MY dog and you may as well be talking bad to me! Passive aggressive bad mouth MY dog! Them's fighting words in any tone you wish.

    Don't pretend your all Sweet and Gooey Apple Pie while saying nasty things to my dog or I'll feed you kibbles until you bust for all to see your nasty hater insides.

    But that's just me! That roommate hates the dog, hates his roommate and really wants to say that to the roommate...the dog is a stand in!

    But I agree Smaggie, she should tell that roommate to shut the hell up and I do agree that verbally abusing a dog may sound a bit out there regarding abuse. My dog understands a great deal of English, and she knows when you tell her she stinks, she does! Weimaraner's fart a lot and she is aware of this too, and feels badly for all of that one doggy moment in time. You use that Gooey Apple Pie voice with her and she cocks her head as if you have lost your mind and are speaking in tongues.

    So abuse, no, being a cranky smegagorian and an asshattin' smutburger for sure.

    I say this from experience. My elderly neighbor whom I used to have a limited friendship with until she decided my husband and I were really her children and needed her rules to live by had a falling out. She would say things loudly to my dog at the mailbox while I was working outside instead of saying them to me directly. I have seen this behavior in action.

    You'll love this, her son had a work injury and had to live with her for a year. She had a rule, he had no idea how she came up with it or what the reasoning was but here was the rule he lived by. Only three beers at one time inside the fridge in the garage. And for no reason she would ransack his bedroom for weed. This man is 54 years old. A bit controlling ya think?

    Sadly both she and her husband are a nightmare together verbally abusing one another and bad mouthing my dog is her safe way of letting her abuse out in a sweet kindly manner. Gooey Apple Pie voice my ass. Made me want to turn my hose on her.

    And I would think a 13 year old boy with piles of latex gloves stacked in his bedroom, that this need would cause him a certain amount of worry about his own constant desire to have them? Ahhhh, got that? How does he explain this to his friends or does this stop him from having friendships? I'm not a fan of drugging the youth in America but talking with someone who understands the variety of components to this fetish could be of value to his state of mind.

    And I'm clueless as to how a glove fetish actually works...and think I'll stay that way unless Smaggie clues us all in on the ins and outs! I went to Dan Savage last week for the first time to see what he was all about and I doubt I'll go back because visiting his site put my Anti-Virus software into overdrive smacking down some bad juju having only clicked on the comments now I am wary.

    Anyone for Apple Pie?

    Happy trails...

  13. Wow, LW3 would freak if my brother was their roommate. He used to chase my cat around and tell it that it had a huge penis. That he was the greatest cat in the world because he penis was the biggest and furriest. Then my brother told me he always wanted to poop in the litter box to see if the cat would be all fucked up about it. Come to think of it, my brother is kinda strange in an awesome way. I used to say full sentences to that cat and sometimes he would do what I said. That cat was pretty cool.
    I would just have a conversation with the dog in frount of the roomie about what a dick the other guy living here is. Lately I have been 'doing unto others as they do unto me' and it has been working out well.

  14. Hey JayJay!

    Greetings and ahoy! And please give my kindest regards to Mr. Stinky Foots and Miss Poops-a-Lot, too! The letters were kinda ridiculous, I agree, but, that goes with the territory, I guess.

    I tell you what, though, apparently you don't tread on Dan Savage's fetish turf unless you want your new in-line comments section to be hijacked and bursting at the seams... Oh! Maybe that's why Prudie did it! It sure worked! Clever Prudie, that.

    Good cheer, JayJay! :-)

  15. Hey Amanda! :-) Why thank you very kindly, madame! Please have a wonderful weekend and much good cheer! :-)

  16. Ahoy Kati! As always, it's a sincere treat to see you here in the lagoon. Yes, our pets do wonder about us at times, don't they? The cats seem to think that we exist only to serve them, on their time lines, regardless of our other commitments. Dogs as well, though I suspect they love us anyway. :-)

    As for the colorful language, it was a challenge laid out to me and I felt that I had to oblige the challenge because, if not for the folks reading this blog, why else am I here. Other than to do submarine maintenance and flirt with the lagoon's stunning Mermaid, that is. ;-)

    Good cheer, Kati! :-)

  17. Greetings Debbie! When you asked if I'd show everyone the ins and outs, was that the slightest bit of flirtation (via euphemism), or juts a most excellent pun? Or both? ;-)

    Now, I understand what you mean about the dog situation. If you say those things and the *intent* is nasty, mean, cruel, shitty, fucktarded, in any way unloving, then, yes, there's no call for it and a hose should be turned on the perpetrator, post haste. But, if the words are said lovingly, as JayJay outlines, I am 100% for it. As I mentioned on The Fray, we have a different social interaction with our pets. They love us unconditionally and we don't have to filter ourselves around them. I like that! I think it's a good thing. At the same time, learning someone, learning what makes them happy, sad, inspired, depresses, and all of their other little and big buttons is also extremely worthwhile and rewarding in its own way! :-) But it's very different than interaction with a pet. So I'll allow for "words" that don't sound nice, just not intent. After all, if someone said in a nasty, mean, growly voice, "your the smartest dog in the world!" the dog would still be very worried and frightened. It's all about intent. ;-)

    As for apple pie, man, oh man, I'm going to try to forget that I read that, but, dangit, I'm already craving the super rich vanilla ice cream to go with it!

    Good Cheer, Debbie! :-)

  18. Hey Anonymous! I don't know who you are, but you sound pretty cool to me! :-) Your brother sounds a lot like mine, actually! And that's mostly a good thing. ;-)

    I chased one of our cats once with the intent to do it bodily harm (I didn't catch it, fortunately). He was a nasty little bugger and liked to attack people. We'd saved him from under our car at a restaurant (he was under there for the warmth, beaten up pretty badly and in need of medical care) and I think he must have lived too rough a life before us because even with love and attention and health he just never calmed or got that he didn't need to bite and claw us. :-( We bought him toys, furry little balls, catnip. None of it deterred him.

    Anyway, one morning after working a week's worth of night shifts, I was so tired that I just got undressed and fell down, face first, on the bed. Right on top of the comforter. I was out, literally, within seconds. Until... Until, that little bastard decided that he wanted to bite and chew one of his "balls" which, in this case, just happened to be one of the ones between my legs. I was awakened to an intense and very sincere, unfunny, pain with my scrotum literally bleeding. So, yes, in my freshly-awakened rage, naked, I chased the cat through the house, in front of the plate glass windows that faced the street, through house and fortunately I came to my senses before I caught him. But I was pissed. And in pain. But normally? Normally I don't chase cats. ;-)

    Good cheer!

  19. Smaggie...I could never live up to my moniker of Plays well with others should I ever think to tread on the Mermaid's affection for you by flirting in her lagoon, after all submariner's don't come along very often in her lagoon and she would come after me like a Shark...and one of my many goals in life is not to get eaten by a Shark nor a Bear...that's bear with a capitol B! And a Mermaid with a capitol M!

    She'd knock the socks right off me...even if I was wearing sandals...she would not pity me.

    And I have broken a rule I am sure by posting on the end of last weeks letters and cheesy talk my favorite cheesy recipe in case someone else needs a new cheesy food idea.

  20. Oh, Debbie, I meant no harm or treading on of anyone! Most of all you or MM! I just love puns, and, there's no way that I could let the 'in and out' one pass by without noticing it. ;-)

    As for MM, you're right, she is pretty danged tough. I heard that she used to train with Jean Claude VanDamme, and Brett Michaels from Poison (he has to be tough due to all of the diseases around him)! I sometimes like to sleep with one eye open, just to make sure the submarine's all secure--you just never know with these crafty, wiley sea creatures about! :-)

    As for you being an innie, I LOVE that! I've never heard it used to define gender, but it's now my new favorite way. And, as for that morning with our cat, I sure wish I'd been an innie, too, instead of an outie! Dang cat!

  21. Hail, SB1, and condolences to our Canadian friends on Cheryl Bernard's just missing coming through for the curling gold medal (after reading a really snarky column by a US writer earlier in the week, I have been pulling for Canada to win the most gold medals overall), though I must admit I had picked Sweden. But on to the subject at hand. Wait a minute - let's rephrase that.

    A bit of neutral therapy MIGHT be useful to Gloveboy. I really don't know, but the quantity might be a sign of something more distrubing than just whatever he wants to do with the latex. LW1 herself falls into a rather unfortunate box. She's a better parent than others I shall not name, but in a weird way she could end up having a much more negative effect. The advantage of having a parent who calls one a disgrace who needs to be fixed is that one might react against it, but that won't be the case here. If LW1 is half as good at putting thoughts into her son's head as she potentially is at putting words into his mouth (I have no idea about at least half the sentiments she attributes to him as to which of the two of them is speaking in what proportion), then she could inadvertently REALLY wreck the poor boy without meaning to do so. While I ascribe merit to DP for consulting an expert rather than replying out of her own ick factor, it might have behooved her to be far more careful with the tone of her answer even if the general substance of it is correct as opposed to the Savage approach. LW1 strikes me as the sort who could easily be looking for any tiny trace of a hook on which to hang the fear she'll instill into her son without even knowing she's doing it, and DP's answer gave her more than she needs. I so hope I'm wrong - this is another loss of sleep for me.

    As for L2, I really can't quite work out Where It All Went Wrong. LW2 has clearly loved Absolving Her Friend for ages and now suddenly it's a huge problem. The two of them are in some true Danse Macabre together, but we first must work out which of the two of them is truly leading.

    In L3, the dog probably has the highest I.Q. in the house, or at least would if he were a cat. But I love this letter - it's too much fun throwing it to the posters who won't be able to stop themselves. As it's not really a kind sentiment, I'll say no more, but my meaning isn't too difficult to decipher.

    I'm starting to think the real problem in L4 is the husband, but that's because I've been coming around to the idea, mainly because I don't drink at all (never have) and everyone who has posted about L4 seems obsessed with wine, that if the group of friends in question all really like LW4, then it would probably be the consensus of the party as a whole that the best way to spend the evening would be to have a Killer Sudoku Solving Competition - only I'll just bet that the husband is the odd link out, so that he'd have to be the referee and he'd be bored to tears (after all, the whole thing was his idea in the first place). Not that I have a scrap of evidence to support this theory, but it seemed like such a fun picture I just had to throw it out there.

  22. Greetings hrumpole! :-) the subject at hand. Okay, if any of you are interested in the current leader (by a landslide) in the pun of the week competition, you need look no further (farther?)! Bravo, hrumpole. :-)

    I want to clarify my advice regarding LW1, because I think that perhaps I was not clear enough. And, too, because I lost my way a bit. The help that I advised was primarily, maybe 80%/20%, for the LW. Her learning to deal with this, how not to make the son into some sort of sideshow freak in her own mind (and, thus, by extension, in his mind) is what I was most concerned with. I admit that, as I typed, I started to fall for her take on the son being embarrassed, so I wanted him to go, too, but only insomuch as he's allowed to discover that he's going to be okay and that he should not be ashamed of himself, who he is, and especially not based on what his mom perceives as society's expectations for him. I mean, Lord Jesus, Joseph and Mary on a communion wafer! So, as you say, hrumpole, let's hope we're both wrong and that this young man can get past this all relatively unscathed.

    As for LW#2, I was having a lovely conversation the other day with a friend who suggested that the victim in an abusive relationship is, at times, an enabler, and when he/she doesn't take the opportunity to leave, he/she must shoulder some of the blame (not for the actual abuse, of course, but for the situation). In cases like this, I can see that as somewhat true, but, too, I know that emotional abuse is an insidious thing and sometimes we don't know how bad it's truly gotten until we're out of it and can look back with some perspective. Regardless of the true nature, though, (assuming the LW to be a reliable witness) I stand by my observation that anyone who can verbally abuse another person all day long and then get all mushy-mushy at day's end, is a not-so-nice person at the *very* least.

    As for LW#4, I'm not a drinker, either. Never have been, but, amazingly, like I imagine is true of you, hrumpole, I'm quite capable of amusing myself at parties. ;-) I find almost all people to be quite amusing (in a sincerely non-judgmental and wonderful way), and I really just enjoy being around everyone, listening, interacting, enjoying. I find that, as a shy person, it's the anticipation of the thing that is often 100 times worse than the reality, and, too, I find that things usually go wonderfully. I have a feeling that will be the case for our mathematical LW, tool.

    Have a wonderful weekend, hrumpole. Good cheer to you and go Canadian Curlers! ;-)

  23. Yes, another triumph...for the Taliban !

    Mr Smagman, you is say "fuckburger". What is this ? i say. Is Smag mean the "fuck burqa", the special Afghan extra-large dress for the surreptitious 2-peoples sexiness ?

    But in cave last night, Moo is sandwich between the two large Tajik men and I is find out meaning of "fuckburger" in most painful way and in morning i am use whole bottle of my most special Gillette Hydra Scrub With Power Beads.

  24. Hey Smaggie...great Monday to ya!

    As you stated I have seen the victim become an enabler by not leaving an abusive relationship that she fully understood. She understood her husbands entire demeanor and his behavior to be abusive not only towards her but others. Due to his low self esteem he's always trying to get a leg up on anyone who he thinks of as less than.

    The woman is unable to leave him, her plan is to outlive him and in the meantime she plays his game very well. I don't think she realizes how hooked she has become to the games and how they play out.

    When he drinks and does not want to drink alone he bullies her so she has him make her a drink as well, then when she goes into the kitchen for more ice she pours the drink down the drain, fills it with water and he knows no difference. The exciting part of the game for her is...first his not knowing he's been duped and as important as the first, it delights her that she is throwing out his expensive liquor as he is the ultimate cheapskate. I find abuse and the victim to take on many forms, a wide variety exists.

    I agree, anyone that treats you nasty for hours during the day and then switches to being your sweet ol' friend afterwards is not worth any amount of time. Their behavior should embarrass them, not push them to bully you further. I don't care how sweetly they state at the end of their tirade, I was a really bitch/bastard all day long wasn't I, are we still, not so much!

    If you are aware that you for an entire day behaved like a complete ass, then think your friend won't care, your living in some fantasy in the world I live in. The LW is playing some sick game too at the end of the day to accept this shoddy behavior from ANYONE.

    And on another happier note...seems most of us are not drinkers, seems we are those obsessive cheesy eaters of Rib Eye and Cheesy bits! Everyone's food ideas had me buying Blue Cheese, and Feta this week!

    Happy trails...

  25. Greetings Jackal! So long as you don't mean the bubblegum metal band of the same name (who made famous "Final Countdown" Dah-nah-nah-nuh, dah-nah-naht-nahnt-nah, dah-nuh-nuh, dah-nah-nunt-nuh-nuh! Then we're okay. Because one of them is enough! :-)


  26. Hello Moohammed! Fuckburger is a derogatory term for someone with whom we are not pleased, who has done something that we don't like, perhaps like you might use the word "infidel", or, "Cliff Richard". I'm sorry that you had to experience an alternate meaning of the word in your cave dwelling! However, I am impressed with your modern amenities! We don't even have Gillette Hydra Scrub With Power Beads on the submarine! Tre chic! ;-)

    Good cheer, mate! ;-)

  27. Hey Debbie. What a shame about your friend. :-( The worse part is that she's now busy finding ways to deceive him--and she's enjoying it in a sad way. And some would argue that that's just as bad. What a shame. I feel for her and wish she had the strength to leave. But, that requires her honestly believing that she deserves better. And that's a lot easier said than done. :-(

    On the happier note, though, I'm happy by that news because it means more cheese for us all since other people will be drinking! Yay! :-)

  28. OMG! Wait! That band was Europe! Not Triumph! Oh, man, what a sad, sad day that I'm now starting to mix up bands from the 70s and 80s. :-( I'm gettin' old, shippers!

  29. Oh, there, there, my Captain! Mermaid's here! Rest your fevered brow upon my creamy shoulder and be comforted. Okay close enough. Not to worry ~ we've all had our little lapses, Smag. I tend to confuse The Scorpions with Judas Priest with Iron Maiden with Dokken. I know, right?! It's ridiculous! And although you do come mighty close, nobody's perfect, not even you, you ol' crusty cuddlebucket, you. As my BFF Bret Michaels would say... "Every rose has its thorn... Every ni-ee-yight has its daaaaooooowwwnn..."

    Btw, you weren't supposed to tell about the black rubber gloves with spiraling nodules on the fingers, 360 degrees and graduated, for her pleasure. Now EVERYONE will want to get some, and they won't be cool any more and they'll just stop making them! Just like click-clacks!!

    Smagpie, I've a feeling you're about to make Mermaid pout with your new post about women on submarines. You know how your Mermaid feels about that! It's not that I don't think women *aren't just as capable as men* or whatever, of course they are, mostly, it's just that, well ~ they take up such valuable MAN-SPACE!! For every woman aboard ~ that is one less man aboard! Math is hard, you're right, but even Mermaid knows that equals ~ NOT AS MANY MEN!! So, as you can see, I have proven my case. Now ~ combine that with my well-documented superior powers of logic ~ and I feel sure you will change your entire opinion on this matter, yes? *flutters eyelashes*

    *sigh* But I suppose you're gonna try and tell me AGAIN "Well, all you need is ONE man, Mermaid..." Right, Cap'n. (eyeroll) That's like having ONE Cheetoh, and I'm not buying THAT one either. I'm not sure that's even legal, just one Cheetoh...

    Interesting story about the cat. So THAT'S how you got that scar...

    I'm off to the other side of the Lagoon, to make myself a bikini top out of Easy Cheese. What'cha say you bring the crackers and we make it a party? See you soon, Diving Buddy... ;)

  30. Mermaid, everyone's got an angle and why would I not think that having one less man on a submarine could be sound reasoning for some!

    I learn a new perspective every day!

    And the best did not make me snort my morning coffee...just short of that. ;0)

  31. Oh MM, your math is sound in this case. But, if you want to really turn on the guys, perhaps you should practice a little lady love (you don't have to actually enjoy it!)? Apparently guys really go for that sort of thing and then, even though there'd be less men to choose from on the submarine, you'd have better returns because even more of the men would be drawn in my your wily ways. There's some math or statistics or something in that concept, but I'm not sure I can figure it out. But trust me, it's true! :-)

    As for me, I'm pouty because I'd hoped it'd mean that you'd sign up for the crew? Oh well. :-(

    As for the easy cheese bikini top, MM, if I've told you all once, I've said it a thousand times, if the cheese is raw, it don't go in my maw. ;-)

    Good cheer, Diving Buddy. :-P

  32. Yay for Debbie and a no-snort day! :-) That's always a good thing. I mean, you get too much liquid on that keyboard and it starts shorting out, your e-mails start spontaneously deleting themselves. It's mayhem!

    Cheers! :-)

  33. Hi Smag. What a bunch of idiot LWs this week! I wouldn't have been as nice to them as you were.

    Sometimes I call my dog the Zeke Monster. He weighs about 10 pounds but his snarl is scary! I freely admit that sometimes I treat him like a short furry person who speaks dog. He knows several English words but he really does not understand much of what I say. Tone of voice is everything.

    Operation Ribeye was a total success last Saturday and I put some pix on my blog.

  34. OoOooOooh! You've just said the three magic words, Beckaroo! Ribeye ~ pix ~ and blog! Are you willing to share with your friends here in the lagoon? Hmmmmmmm?

  35. Captain, you've really given your Mermaid some serious krill for thought! Perhaps it IS time for me to change with the tides and invite a Sister or two over to the Lagoon for a little fun, especially if it pleases the menfolk in the process! Mermaid does believe strongly in giving the people what they want, after all ~ especially when what they want is Mermaid!

    Although ~ rather than come aboard (p) as an official member of the crew where I might have to do yucky stuff like ew! swab decks ~ my fantasties always have me appear there as more of ~ how can I say this? ~ the *live entertainment*.

    And, my dearest Smagaroni ~ although Easy Cheese is pasteurized, which may count towards its being "not raw", your Mermaid does understand what it is you want. Therefore, I am going to now prostrate myself upon a hot rock in the Lagoon with two strategically placed slices of Velveeta ~ until they reach proper melting point.

    I'm sure you've heard the saying, 'Everything's better when it sits on my tits!' ;)

  36. Oh ~ And Debbie (you didn't think Mermaid forgot about you did you?) ~ I'm very sorry for the coffee snorting this week. I'll try much harder next time to make you spew.

    Perhaps I can make it up to you by issuing to you the very first Sister invite to Mermaid's side of the Lagoon? Just give the Captain time to gather the crew and set up the tripod, and it'll soon be fair winds and happy tides for us both! ;)

  37. Sure Mermaid, I'd love to have visitors! My blog can be found at The popper pix turned out much better than the ribeye shot.

  38. MM

    Sw'eet...I love a good invite for girl time, we can chat up a storm about Smaggie and his crew of manly men!

    ...that's me doing the backstroke thrashing about in a hurry so I can have two slices of Velveeta for my girls, ah, really they will need two each for full melty coverage.

  39. Hey Guys! I'm really, really sorry that I haven't been around as much this week. Work and school have been keeping me way busy!

    Beckaroo, those are great pics! I just scanned them really quickly and I had the Pavlov reaction. Yep, literal mouth watering. It's sad, but holy smokes, that all looked scrumptious! I'll definitely go back and properly check out your blog! Thank you for mentioning it!

    MM and Debbie. Ladies, while there's nothing more in the world that I'd like to see than the two of you with warm Velveeta slices (and nothing else) on your girls, I'm more excited about the whole potential for melty Velveeta to eat....okay, no, just kidding! I'm excited about the boobs! What can I say, I'm a guy, I'm easy. :-)

    Thanks all, for a great week of comments. Hey, it's Prudie Day tomorrow. I don't know if I'll have time before the weekend if things keep like they are, but here's hoping!

    Good cheer all! :-P