From a Submariner's Perspective is a weekly column, written in response to the letters sent in to advice columnist "Prudie" at Each week, The Submariner responds to the letter writers in a way that author, Emily Yoffe, probably can't (but perhaps would like to...). Each entry is headed with a link to the orginal questions and Yoffe's answers. Enjoy!

Also, if you have questions that you'd like answered by The Submariner, or anyone here at "The Fly", just write to me at and I'll forward to the appropriate party/parties for an answer (or you can write to them directly via the e-mail addresses on their pages)! Once the answers are published, I'll drop you a note letting you know.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Smagboy Bows Out of the Snark Game...For Now

Hey hidey-ho, Shippers! How the hell are ya on this fine, fine Prudie Day?  :-)

I hope that you’re all happy and healthy and rearin’ to go. First off, I have to apologize for my absence over the last few weeks. Work has been super busy. Busier than I ever remember it being, actually. Which I’m not complaining about! Please don’t think that I’m whining about work! But, too, school continues to take a lot of time. And, since I can’t sneakily do my schoolwork at my work-work anymore, it’s sort of snowballed into having a lot less free time all ‘round. But, I'm not here to whine. That’s not my shtick. So, instead, I’ll just say that I do apologize for not posting sooner, and that each of the last three weeks I’d hoped that it’d be my last week of absence and that I’d “be back next week, for sure!”  I sort of placated myself with that promise...

Well, that hasn’t happened. And we’re now into four weeks in a row. So, instead of not addressing the issue, and, too, instead of writing a subpar column (which is something I fear has been going on for quite awhile, anyway--when does snark transform from edgy and fun to just cussing and being mean?), I’m going to officially bow out for awhile. I’m not leaving for good. I’m just taking a break. I’ll be back when I can give you and this space the effort you deserve.

I’ll miss you guys. I really appreciate all of the great conversations and good words over the years. And, like I say, I’ll be back. For reals!  Much good cheer to you all, and, fair winds and following seas. 'Til next time... :-)


  1. O Captain ~ You have been sorely missed! Hope to see you soon, on the other side of the Lagoon, for some well deserved R&R, my Diving Buddy!

    xoxo, your Mermaid :*8>--{

  2. Thanks for this post -- I was worried that some major catastrophe had befallen you!! Looking forward to your return here. Best wishes.

  3. Smag, I've missed you and will continue to miss you until you come back. Glad it's work and school that's keeping you busy and not something awful. Hope things settle down for you soon!

  4. Well, when I saw your title, I thought you were going to be nice to the LWs, which would be far worse than your simply taking an indefinite leave.

    All success to you until you can return on your own terms.

  5. With hrumpole - a nice smagboy is not a good smagboy, and I too feared we'd have some kind of weepy love-fest which I simply cannot abide.

    Good to hear you're still with us though! And thanks for not whining - I did plenty of that in mine this week. My favorite quote: "That which does not kill me only serves to make me whinier!"

  6. One more thing: am I the only who noticed that in our sexy, yummy Mermaid's little emoticon her right one is bigger then her left? I mean, who knew?

    Not that it's all that unusual - I had a girlfriend once who was an entire cup size off. As a young man I figured bewbs is still bewbs and paid it no never mind. Just sayin'.

    We still love you and your lopsided hootskies, MM!

  7. Ah well, my Thursdays have definitely been a bit darker without my Submariner's Perspective fix. I would have been worried but I did see a couple of comments on other Slate articles here and there (although most of them weren't as snarky as I like). :)

    We'll all look forward to you finding your way back when you can make it!

  8. Well thank goodness it's the good things keeping you from us!!

    Prudie day and your blog are my weekly sneaky treat from the work day :) Some weeks the blog, and friendly banter it creates, were the only intelligent conversations I would hear all week!

    So good luck with all you having going on, and I, for one, hope we get you back more sooner than later :)

  9. asking for a "friend"February 10, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    dear smag,

    I used to read a column filled w/ snarky humor every thursday and now it's on hiatus. What do I do now? the horror! the horror! :).

    j/k - can't wait for the smag reunion tour! :).


  10. Hi Smaggy, I'm so happy to hear from you!

    Don't worry about missing past Prudie's letters, they seem to have been on a long streak of boring -- but that too shall pass (hopefully!)

    I sure admire you for working and going to school at the same time! It's very difficult so you can be proud to be doing it, but you must be tired.... so good luck with all that!


  11. Schuyler, I can't see a difference between right and left Mermaid's boobs. Actually, mermaids are known for the perfect eveness of their bodies (unknown to mere humans) and the perfect pitch of their singing voices.

    I know because, well, I'm definitely uneven in more way that one. I'm actually a walking Picasso! And I sing out of tune .... ah, perhaps if I grew a fish tail and gave up my legs all my problems be solved? (it's raining so much here that it might happen anyway. The song: glglglglglgl... help!

  12. Ahoy, MM! Thank you so much for the warm good wishes. You know that I like nothing more than being on the other side of the Lagoon. I'll be back soon. Honest! And if your yummy good cooking is a factor (with yummy smells always wafting over this way), I'll be back sooner rather than later. Fried cheese sticks, anyone?! ;-)

    Good cheer, MM. ;-)

  13. Ahoy, HillWalker. Thank you for the good wishes. I'll be back as soon as I'm able to give you guys the amount of time and effort you deserve! :-)

    Thank you for reading! :-)

  14. Beckaroo Banzai! Ahoy, Matey! No, nothing awful, thank goodness. :-) I hope to be back soon. I really do. But, here's hoping, too, that the hiatus will recharge my snark-o-meter. ;-) Good cheer to you and yours!

  15. Ahoy, hrumpole!! No, I knew that I couldn't possibly get away with being nice to the LWs! I knew you'd call me out quicker than folks weekly cry "misogynist" at Prudie over one letter or another! ;-) And, unlike them, I have genuine affection for you and want to keep in your good standing. ;-) So, no niceties from me. And, when I do come back, I'll pack on a little extra nastiness, just to keep things lively. ;-)

    Much good cheer, hrumpole. :-)

  16. Ahoy, Schuyler! Nope, no love fests here--well, unless it's MM we're talking about! And, for the record, no, I never thought of her right breasticle as larger than her left. I saw it as a product of perspective. You know, as in 3D renderings, where those objects closer to the viewer appear larger than those farther away?

    I assumed MM was turned, provocatively, back arched in such a way as to accentuate the amplitude of her ample "endowment". But, like your younger self, I'm pretty much happy to have a go with any breasts. Or, hell, most any naughty parts, actually! Equal opportunity Smag, I am. ;-)

    Much good cheer to you, Schuyler! :-)

  17. Ahoy, Robin! Thank you for the kind words, and for reading. I'll try to get back soonest. And, too, to occasionally throw down some snark on other articles, just to keep my snark muscles in shape. ;-)

    Good cheer! :-)

  18. Ahoy, clhriker! Thank you! :-) I'll try to get back soonest as I don't want to keep your sneaky treats gone for too long. Thank you for reading! I'll be back soonest. :-)

    Much good cheer! ;-)

  19. Greetings asking for a "friend"! Well, you can always be super clever and, using my e-mail address, above, contact me directly or find me on FaceBook. Oh, wait... ;-)

    Much good cheer there, Mister, and thanks for the good support! :-)

  20. Ahoy, Kati! I've noticed the letters have been a bit slow, too. I like your good thoughts that they'll be back up to high levels of zingy-ness soon! We can hope, yes? :-)

    As for working and going to school, it is tiring, but, hey, don't they say that that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger? Or, alternatively, as Schuyler reports, "...only serves to make us whinier." ;-)

    See you soon! Much good cheer, Kati! :-)

  21. Awww Smaggie. I will miss you, my Thursday will be a little less spicey. But you go do what you have to do. We will all wait for you I am sure.

  22. Ah, THAT'S what it is. I, too, feared some calamity had befallen. I wish I could say that I could step in, ***temporarily***, by using my own blog, but I haven't posted there in months m'self. This happens every time I start a blog. Too much thinkin', not enough writin'

    We'll be here when you get back!

  23. I'm a rare Fray poster, but I just wanted to say that I'm glad you are taking a temporary hiatus due to the good kind of busy (assuming you like your job and your course of study). Though I hope you'll be back soon, I hope that a gifted snarkster like you has a chance to find more interesting and profitable venues too.