From a Submariner's Perspective is a weekly column, written in response to the letters sent in to advice columnist "Prudie" at Each week, The Submariner responds to the letter writers in a way that author, Emily Yoffe, probably can't (but perhaps would like to...). Each entry is headed with a link to the orginal questions and Yoffe's answers. Enjoy!

Also, if you have questions that you'd like answered by The Submariner, or anyone here at "The Fly", just write to me at and I'll forward to the appropriate party/parties for an answer (or you can write to them directly via the e-mail addresses on their pages)! Once the answers are published, I'll drop you a note letting you know.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

...on Finances, Flingers, Families and Pharmacy Friends (9/09/2010) <--- Original Prudie Letters Can Be Found There

Hey hidey-ho, Shippers! How in the hell are ya on this fine, fine Prudie Day? I hope that it’s a wonderful day for all of you and that this batch o’ letters brings a smile to an already-wonderful day. With that aim in mind, let’s get crackin’, shall we?

LW#1: Dear Prudie, I recently became engaged to a really nice guy, who’s, like, totally the most wonderful guy ever. We’ve had several nice showers, you know, because we’re so well-liked. We received all sorts of great stuff, including seed money for a new home, etc., etc., etc. (you know, normal stuff that all couples get at their many showers). The problem (‘cause you just knew there’d be one)? His former lover (a much, much older woman) gave us a very generous gift to be used toward our future child’s (children’s) education. Fifty thousand dollars! She’s very well off, Prudie, and can easily afford it, but, as you can well-imagine, I feel a little strange about accepting such a large amount of money from my fiancé’s former girlfriend. What should I do? Signed, Frugal Fiancée

Dear Fucking Idiot. You are a fucking dumbassed, stupid, ignorant, apparently extremely rich (or, more likely, money-ignorant) idiot. Someone is offering to give you what will amount to about $90 thousand dollars in 19 years (I’m assuming your dumb ass isn’t already pregnant and I’m certain that you aren’t going to raise any geniuses that need the money sooner than that, because, with your genetic material, that’s just not possible). And that figure is assuming you put the money in something super-safe, like government bonds, only earning 3%. Imagine if you got off your ass and actually added something to the pot along the way?! Fucking double dumbass. Across the sky. All the way.

LW#2: Dear Prudie, I’m a middle-aged woman working as a project manager in a male-dominated field. Through good work and ability, I’ve managed to prove to all of my co-workers that I am knowledgeable and capable, and they treat me as such. Except this one guy. Prudie, he throws papers on my desk. Literally. Every day. I’ve tried to joke it off. I’ve tried to be nice. I know that I can’t complain as I’d be seen as a whiner. I’ve handled the hazing of all of the other guys. What can I do about this one? Signed, Confused

Dear Not-So-Terribly-Good-With-People. You’ve handled hazing, eh? You fucking don’t know from hazing. Jesus Christ, how hard is this? You stand up to the mother fucker. You simply take those papers that miss your in-box and full-arm slide them into the trash, or, simply collect and shred them. Period. No production. No acknowledgment that what you’re doing is odd. If he asks what’s up, tell him, in a very business-like way, that that’s where they will go, Every. Single. Fucking. Time. And, that they'll go there without being worked, and that that's what will happen until such time that he learns to put the paperwork in its proper place. Don’t yell. Don’t scream. Just do it in a matter-of-fact, no-nonsence way. When asked by your superiors where the paperwork is, you say, “It never made it to my in-box.” And you stand your fucking ground. And Honey-schnookums, this is just kindergarten stuff.

LW#3: Dear Prudie. I’m a graduate student about to finish my doctoral degree. I teach, (adjunct, at my university), as well as wait tables, in order to make ends meet. I have a younger sister who’s also in school. She works three jobs to stay there. We both have student loan debt and barely make enough to scrape by, but, it’s worth it for the education as we know this is an investment in our future. The problem is our mother. She’s a recently laid-off secretary. She has no other skills and has no education past her GED. She lives far away and her finances are going to hell. My sister and I are worried sick, but aren’t yet in a situation to help. What can we do? Signed, A Good Daughter Who’s Almost Able to Help, Just Not Quite Yet

Dear Daughter, Thank you for this wonderfully refreshing letter, demonstrating that there is still some goodness left in the world. I wish that I could offer some better advice than Prudie did. I can’t. But, I can add a piece. Talk to your mom! Tell her that you’re worried! She’ll likely try to play it off. She’s obviously a hard worker who’s done the best she could while trying to raise two daughters to have it better than she has. But, don’t accept that without pushing a bit. Say that you know she’s proud, but that you’re wondering if there’s anything you can do to help? Maybe she can live with you and/or your sister for a time? The consolidation of bills might help you all? Look, I’m not saying this is ideal. I’m not saying it’s what you’ve hoped and dreamed for. Not for any of you. But, unfortunately, things are tough all around right now and we’re all having to reassess. I’m sorry about that, and wish it was different for all of us. But it ain’t. And, for what it’s worth, I’m sure that your mom is very, very proud. And thankful. Believe me, it’s most every parent’s dream to see their daughter have every opportunity in life to be all they are capable of being. And many of us don’t get to live that dream. You’re already giving her more than you know. All to your, your sister’s and your mother’s credit. Hang in there. You’re an inspiration.

LW#4: Dear Prudie. I recently “stumbled upon” a pill bottle that belongs to my boyfriend. Instead of putting it back where I “accidentally” found it, I tried to read it, but the label indicating the medication type had been peeled off. Not taking that as a hint, I went to a medication identification website and found out that he’s been taking Levitra (an erectile dysfunction medication)! Prudie, he’s only 24! I’m concerned! Why didn’t he tell me about this?! I want to be supportive! I want to help! Should I be alarmed? Does this mean his boners aren’t really because he’s happy to see me, but rather just because he’s chemically “enhanced”? Does it mean that they’ve all been...fake?! Signed, I’m Afraid

Dear Afraid. The solution is simple. Just figure out how you would want to have him tell you, if, say, your boyfriend, I don’t know, went into your purse, found a pill bottle for acne medication, researched it on the web, and became worried that you weren’t nearly as naturally pretty as he thought? This is all just manufactured fucking drama, you know? All you had to do was ask your BF what was in the bottle. But, you were afraid he’d lie. Or suspected it contained something illicit. So, no trust for him, eh? Or, what? You just like drama? As for advice, I’d say that you need to break up with this guy. You obviously don’t respect him or his boundaries, you don’t trust him, and, fact is, he shouldn’t trust you, either. There, happy? Good. Now, try not to get into the same bad place with your next significant other.

Well, Shippers, that about wraps it up. I hope that your week is filled with love and happiness and warmth. We could all use it! Fair winds and following seas to ya, one and all, Shippers!


  1. Howdy, Smag. Thanks for properly addressing LW4. I guess Prudie was so excited about the opportunity to use all of the boner puns she's been carefully wordsmithing over the years for just such a letter, that she totally missed the actual issue here. Specifically, that it's a little f***ed up to "stumble across" a pill bottle and go to the crazy lengths this reader did to discover its contents... and then to make it all about herself because there's just not enough drama in the world. I can't believe Prudie basically condoned her actions and encouraged her to pursue it further. Thank goodness you're here to set her straight. OK, that pun was TOTALLY unintentional.

    P.S. Must be nice to be LW1 and have soooo much money that you can throw $50,000 back in some old lady's face for daring to sleep with your fiance before you met him. Sigh.

  2. Another way of having Simon barSchematics is to pick them up, straighten them, drop them on the floor behind you, and say, "You dropped something."

  3. I don't know, Smag... if I were the fiancee, I'd be just as wary too. It's one thing if the couple was poor, and the woman is a philanthropist of a sort doing it for a good cause. But the couple is financially stable, and so is their family, there's gotta be a catch, right? I mean, the fiance did sleep with her.

    Not meaning to be self righteous or anything... but if that rich ex girlfriend really wanted to help, donate money to charity, or better yet, set up a trust fund to the needy children who are college bound. Or, maybe the couple can donate money and then use it as a tax write off.

    Other than that, nice post, Smag. Good one as usual. :-D

  4. asking for a &quot;friend&quot;September 9, 2010 at 11:11 AM

    LW#1 - I'd do anything for a sandwich and definitely keep the proceeds! :). btw, gummers are like leather seats! :).

    LW#2 - say to the guy loudly in office "stop hitting my box!!!" :).

    LW#3 - try stripping! :).

    LW#4 - if he mentions the words "donkey punch," then run 4 your life!!!

    p.s. Smag - did U read Prudie's Tuesday column - fertile grounds for smagis maximus; :).

  5. Morning Smag. I could not help but notice the phrasing in letter one. Prior to them dating her fiancee had an "affair" with a much older woman. A much older married woman? Was he married? Why is it an affair instead of a relationship? That is what jumped out at me, other than that take the money you mouth breather!

  6. Ahoy, Amy! :-) Agreed! And totally well-said. Especially the part about me keeping it straight. Er, I meant, setting her straight. Her! :-)

    Good cheer!

  7. CoolOne. Agreed. That could certainly work, but, it could also turn into a nasty loop of him throwing, her picking up and dropping, him picking up and throwing...

    My way ensures that the game ends. One way or the other. ;-) But, anything to get an attractive lady to bend over in the office to "pick things up", I'm all for! ;-)

    Good cheer! ;-)

  8. Nachtmusik, I may not fully understand the perspective, I guess. And, admittedly, that may be a blind spot. To me, unless you know for certain that you're going to be able to afford for your kids to attend college, you should accept the money and put every single bit of it into a tax free, deferred college fund of some sort. I suggest lower interest, but high safety bonds as, with that much money, you're assured a nice chunk of change for college.

    However, you're correct. If they can afford it, with certainty, there's no need to accept such a gift. :-)

    Good cheer!

  9. afa"F", I'm going to have to take your hilarious word for it ("gummers are like leather seats!"). ;-)

    As for Tuesday's column, I did read it, but, alas, just haven't had time to address it. :-( Life sometimes gets funny like that. I'll try to be more on the ball here soon! :-)

    Cheers! :-)

  10. Greetings mommylady! Ahoy! I noticed that, too, actually. And compare and contrast it with the end of the letter when she calls the lover her fiancé's "girlfriend". Lots of terms there. *I* took it to mean that the lady was married, but that her fiancé was not. Based solely on the age of the two. However, that may not be the case at all! Too, she may have used the word incorrectly and neither were married. As a matter of fact, I was going to chastise her for the inconsistency, but didn't want to distract from my steady drone of eff bombs. ;-) Good catch, though!

    Cheers! :-)

  11. asking for a &quot;friend&quot;September 9, 2010 at 12:24 PM


    I like to be an ungrateful lad and want more more more! :). besides the price of this stuff is right! :).

  12. What happened to the gentle, kind-hearted, sweet talking Smagboy of yore? Don't know. Don't care. DID rather like the hugs and kisses to LW2, I must say. Haze this, I say.

    Keep 'em coming, you big softie. One day you'll toughen up on these guys a little!

    Cheers my brother - STC

  13. As to LW1- Dear Dad, why the F weren't you getting it on with this woman before you met my mom?!!?
    LW2- Don't do anything. Just go home and cry about it ok?
    LW3- I'm with you Smaggie, maybe they can bunk together until mom can find a new job or becomes eligible for social security? It is nice to hear from someone that has both a real problem AND a conscience every now and then.
    LW4- IDK, although she's violated his privacy, he's been dishonest, at least by omission. I think maybe you were too harsh on her. She's probably freaked out thinking that he's either on so many antidepressants (that she doesn't know about) that he can't get it up, or he's screwing so many other people that he needs help keeping up. Sure, maybe it's innocent...but maybe not.

  14. afa"F", I LOVE that video! Especially now that we know that he was just busy being himself. Hey, he got way more than his 15 minutes, eh?

    Cheers! :-)

  15. Ahoy to you, STC! And greetings!

    Yeah, I was in a foul mood earlier today. I'm still there. One day I might learn to be nice. Maybe. :-)

    Good cheer there, Mate!

  16. Ahoy, JayJay! Good stuff, and I agree with it all, except, of course LW#4. :-)

    I mean, sure, I understand the *gist* of your point, but, when you say, "...maybe it's innocent...but maybe not", I just can't think of anything about using it that might be untoward? Of course, having never used the stuff (honest!), I don't know what sort of recreational or other uses there can be, but, I just figured that it was for keeping it up longer/more often? Maybe it gets people high? Heck if I know. But, as far as something sinister, you'll have to help me out with what that might be. :-)

    Good cheer, as always! :-)

  17. Hi SmagBoy,
    Only one of these made me talk to myself all day at work:
    The benign interpretation of the Big Donor in Letter 1 is that she's so terribly excited by the future happiness of her ex boy toy that she's expressing it with a manic sum of money. Mmm, It's possible.
    The creepy interpretation is more like something out of Sunset Boulevard, or Camilla/Charles/Diana.

    Yes, I would say she is trying to buy a stake in your future family, with what might be a friendly intent. I've heard of families where an ex-step mother so yearned to be a grandma, or an ex-sil so yearned to be an aunt, that they sent cards and presents to the child, and were welcomed as 'old family friends'--these are unusually tolerant families, but the more love the better with children, right?

    So if you can truly be friendly enough with her --as a couple--to imagine inviting her to the occasional ceremonial event, as 'our friend from way before you were born', that's lovely.

    Talk through that scenario thoroughly, especially if you have a counseling relationship with your wedding officiant.
    Also, talk it over with a tax/legal specialist: a gift that large might have tax consequences on either side; is it even possible to set up a trust for babies yet un-conceived?
    I think the strings attached, that is, should be made pretty specific and legal, in her own interest as well as yours.

    You get your story straight between you, and then sit down with her together. The Lead is, 'this is so generous, we are so grateful.'
    Then (if you think she's doing this because she's off her meds, and will rue the day)--"but we really can't accept such a lavish present."
    That's if you really think she's creepy, and are really ready to blow her off.

    Or, "and we'd like to do this properly, so that we're sure your gift is used as you would wish"--where she's the original trustee of a trust account, but that could pass to your husband if she dies. What happens if you don't have kids, or if they aren't college material, or if they are but don't want to go, or if you'd rather send them to private middle school and let college take care of itself, or if you have foster/adopted kids?...spell it all out, and if she's still willing, you're protected from various kinds of uncertainty.

    THere, maybe I can sleep tonight.
    Calm seas to all--

  18. Ahoy, Cantahamster! Agreed. I see no indication in the letter that there's anything creepy here. The LW mentioned the giver's age, financial status and the fact that she'd "enjoyed time" with the LW's fiancé, but nothing about feeling creeped out or threatened by her. A gift shouldn't automatically be suspect. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, yes? ;-)

    Much good cheer! :-)

  19. TGIF to all. I know it was a short week but those always seem to be the most hectic?!

    I'm with those questioning the generous gift of LW1. I say if a woman's radar goes off that something is not quite right, then probably something is not quite right. The two things she said that sent up my radar were "I don't view her as a threat" and "but part of me feels uneasy about accepting..". If she didn't feel a threat, then why is she writing to the internet lady for advice?

    To me, it reeks of messy attached strings (and generally I'm Mrs. Optimistic, but this one...)

    To the rest of the responses, I say 'yep yep yep!'

    Nothing irks me more that a woman in a 'male dominated' field (which is where I've been my whole work life, I work w/ all men, I talk to almost all men on the phone all day selling automotive aftermarket stuff) who trys to get her point across by being coy, hinting and other 'girly' methods of communication. Is it seriously that hard to say exactly what you need/want? "If you want me to take care of your paperwork, then put it in my inbox!" Obviously this guy is a jerk, either because he resents women in his workplace or just in general. She needs to stop the games and be direct!

    Ok, sorry if I was rambling on. It's been one of those crazy weeks!! Hope everyone enjoys the weekend.

  20. LW1 oughtta take the money and run. Sure, the old lady might INTEND for strings to be attached but what exactly is she gonna do about it? Take 'em to court when she doesn't get her way?

    I love the mention of several wedding showers - these are the kinds of people who give weddings a bad name! Seed money for their house??? Christ, what happened to a toaster?


  21. Yes! Thank you clhriker! I thought the same thing: You "LOVE working in male-dominated field"? Really? Because it sounds like you don't love it and can't really handle standing up to any kind of friction in the workplace (male-dominated or otherwise). I thought I was reading something a 7-year-old wrote...then I realized even 7-year-olds usually say, "Quit it, already!" Yeesh!

  22. Dear Prudie,
    I have the most wonderful, amazing, perfect girlfriend in the world! I couldn’t love her more! Except one thing…she’s really judgmental and it makes me afraid to share anything with her! Plus, she doesn’t respect boundaries, so I have to keep her from snooping in all my stuff!

    So, I know what you’re thinking: I don’t see how this could EVER become an issue. But see, I have (whisper) erectile dysfunction. And I’m only 24! I don’t know if it’s an emotional issue – since every time she sees me naked I have to worry about her being all judgy and whatnot – the stressful time I’m having in my life, or if I’m just a different kind of guy or what, but it’s really embarrassing! Since, y’know, I’m expected to be all young and virile and everything! And I don’t want to make it worse by telling her and her getting all worked up and jumping to conclusions. She might think there’s something wrong with me - or her! And since the doc prescribed me something, it’s all taken care of, and I was thinking if I could just get through this, maybe I can stop taking the meds eventually and I’ll never have to tell her.

    My question is, how do I deal with her drama when she finds out (because she will whether I tell her or not)? I don’t want this to be a bone of contention between us – oh, sorry, Prudie, just following your lead!
    -Embarrassed Boyfriend of “Supportive” Girlfriend

  23. Smaggy, I just told myself something funny and, as usual,, I'm laughing at my own joke and am amazed by my ability to entertain myself with myself...

    The thing to do with the pill bottle is to secretely replace the pills with look alike placebos, and then see if it affects his ability to get it up! This will show what the pills are really for, though I understand placebos sometimes work just as well without all those pesky side effects (like going blind, or turning blue, etc)

  24. Captain, Mermaid is sorely disappointed in you.

    Regarding LW#1 ~ It is clear that you want that money, you'd take that money, and you would say or do anything to justify doing so. More than one person has told you that their Creep-o-Meter is going off, and yet you run around with your fingers in your ears going "lalalalalala". You deserve a spanking for that this week! :(

    However, you slightly redeem yourself with your response to LW#3. :)

    Don't worry, I'm still going to spank you. :P

  25. I'm going to get the shameless plug for my new blogspot out of the way before the Response Thang:

    There. Go play.

    LW1 - Super-Smagtastic Bubble Plastic, I can't get down with you on that, either. Now a parent or grandparent bequeathing that kind of dough, yeah, bring it on!, but an ex-gf, or whatever she was? She already announced what it's supposed to be for, and even if there were no legal way she could enforce it (....right?), people can be pests when they attach stipulations to their "gifts" and don't see things done their way.

    Years ago my oldest sister offered to buy me a new car, and I resisted the hell out of that, because I was afraid of strings being attached and hate owing and being owed - like, owing her the money for the car, but she's not that way. She... likes giving extragavant gifts. And that's her thing. But, I'm still uncomfortable being given gifts that I couldn't possibly match, and always will be.
    So I gotta side with LW on this.

    LW2 - not having worked in a "male-dominated field," what does that even mean anymore? Is it supposed to mean that they hit each other and give each other insulting nicknames and swear constantly and play pranks and "haze" each other, or is that all obsolete stereotyping these days? I mean, when no women are in the office, they still use the latrine and not their wastebaskets when they gotta go, right?

    Anyway, tell the guy to knock it off, or something. Even I would still muster a "WTF?!" at having work literally thrown at me, and I'm First Act George McFly Non-Confrontational, you know? But a response to that would be practically a reflex action for me.

    LW3 - yikes. The economy blows like Moby Dick. I can't improve on your words, so won't try.

    LW4 - {{sigh}} Yeah, you go, girl. A Dream Girl, you are. Have fun back in the dating scene, or whatever kids these days call it.

  26. Herdthinner, there IS a legal way she can enforce it.

    If someone gives you a conditional gift (a gift which stipulates how it will be used) and you accept that gift under those terms, that is a contract. If you do not use that gift for its intended purpose, you have broken the contract, and it is considered theft, and you could be sued for the money back. Or, her heirs could sue, if she's passed away and they find out the money wasn't used to send the kids to college.

    What the ex-girlfriend is doing is buying a vested interest in her ex-boyfriend's children. Ew. I wouldn't go within 10 feet of that money. Uh uh. No way.

  27. Ah, so she can be even more of a pest. Why am I not surprised about the legalities??

    By the way, I'm 43, have never bought government bonds (see Smag's original response!), and don't think I'll live another 30 years. Should I buy them, anyway?

  28. Ahoy, clhriker! I agree with you that if the woman's RADAR goes off that something's not quite right, then she shouldn't accept it. But, I just didn't find that in the letter! I know I may be being dense, but, I don't see it anywhere. And I've combed it.

    Here's what she says. This is ALL she says on the subject:

    She is a good person, and I don't view her as a threat. For our wedding gift, she gave us (gulp) $50,000 to be set aside for our children's college tuition. She can afford it, but a part of me feels uneasy about accepting such a large amount of money from his former girlfriend.

    The only thing that she lists as an issue is feeling uneasy about accepting such a large sum of money. From his former GF. So, it's not money. It's the large sum. And it's not the GF. She's a good person and not perceived as a threat. So, to me, that takes us back to, "Whoa, this is A LOT of cash!" My response was written in an effort to point that, heck yeah it is! And you have a nice person willing to give it to you. Well-heeled older people do this all the time, actually. May have earned their money and comfortable lifestyles via investments, and they figure starting a fund now for a brand new (or non-existent baby) will make the gift that much more valuable when it comes time for use.

    Based on what we've been told (or not been told), I don't think the woman has any intentions of exercising any control over this issue. Maybe I'm wrong, though. I've been before! :-)

    Good cheer! :-)

  29. Agreed Robin. And though, apparently, she could take them to court, I seriously doubt she would. I think that's something the LW would have picked up on. She didn't mention the education part of the money as strings. Just as what it was. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Jeez, I oughta copyright that phrase! Although, I'm guessing Freud wouldn't be too happy about that. ;-)

    Good cheer! :-)

  30. Ahoy, Ms. Scarlet! I love it when you bring down the boom like that! :-) Excellent stuff! Especially the bone of contention bit. ;-)


  31. Kati, not to make light of your ability to entertain yourself with yourself, but, just so you know, I do that all the time when I'm surfing the Inter...wait. Is that TMI? ;-)

    As for the little pills, I reckon this woman needs to learn a lesson from this experience. Hopefully, she will. :-)

    Good cheer, Kati! :-)

  32. Thank you for noticing my sweet and gentle response to LW#3, MM! I've learned from the best! :-)

    As to the several people whose creep-o-meter is going off, thought I respect their opinions, MM (and I *do*!), I didn't hear any creep-o-meter-worthy comments from our illustrious LW. As such, you are correct, I'm going to forward my own agenda! :-)

    Now, I will admit to the possibility that I'm totally and completely wrong, but, consider this. An older, very well-off woman has given a sizable amount of money to a former lover. This woman probably has some standing in the community, is likely seen as powerful, or at least dignified. She probably enjoys that status and the status of being somewhat philanthropic. Even if not, I doubt she wants to be seen as a controlling old hag. I could be wrong, but, I'm guessing I'm not, just based on human nature and based on the fact that she's given so much scratch as a wedding gift. Sad thing is, I doubt the gift even made her sweat.

    Do you think a woman like that is going to sue anyone over the fact that they didn't use the money exactly as she prescribed? Yes, certainly she could! I don't deny that. But *would* she? Would she want the information that it was given to her former lover out there, and how he's now defied her? I just don't see any threat here. Again, as I say, I'm willing to admit that I'm wrong. I'm willing to admit that I'm forwarding my own agenda, but, I'm pretty good with human nature, too. Not as good as you, perhaps, but pretty good. So, I'm willing to stick my neck out on this one. If that posture gets me kicked in the ear hole, so be it. It won't be the first time. ;-)

    Good cheer, Diving Buddy. And yes, please, may I have those spankings in triplicate? I really, really deserve them. ;-)

  33. Ahoy, herdThinner! I enjoyed your blog. And TC's collectibles! The custom dolls area is quite cool--and only a little stalkerish. ;-)

    As for your sister and LW#1, as I've mentioned in earlier defensive posts, if a person feels the least bit hinky about accepting the gifts, they shouldn't. :-) Only if there are no issues. That's all. Man! It sounds as if I've advocated that this woman sign a contract to have sex with strange men of the ex-GF's choosing at least once per year, with no notice or choice! :-)

    Anyway, I do understand that there's potential downside. I'm just ever-hopeful, I guess, that the ex-GF is on the level.

    Good cheer, herdThinner, and thanks for sharing your blog and site! :-)

  34. Oh, we all saw the signing the contract to have sex with strange men of her choosing at least once per year in the original letter. It was a hexidecimal code, within a certain pattern of letters spelling out the first clue, in Cherokee. But most of us just perceived it via an unexplainable "gut feeling."

    Truth is, if I were richer than God, I'd be a lot like the ex-GF and would showever people and institutions with dead Presidents without expecting payback, so what kind of untrusting hypocrite am I??

  35. LW4 -- I have a *LITTLE* bit of sympathy for her, but only a little bit. I don't condone snooping in your SO's stuff, but wouldn't she want to know if her sweetie had, say, an addiction to prescription painkillers?