tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post1501368874924583063..comments2023-05-09T04:57:48.290-05:00Comments on From A Submariner's Perspective: ...on Finances, Flingers, Families and Pharmacy FriendsSmagBoy1http://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-54402206027246199652010-09-17T05:54:54.896-05:002010-09-17T05:54:54.896-05:00LW4 -- I have a *LITTLE* bit of sympathy for her, ...LW4 -- I have a *LITTLE* bit of sympathy for her, but only a little bit. I don't condone snooping in your SO's stuff, but wouldn't she want to know if her sweetie had, say, an addiction to prescription painkillers?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-39362449529028057272010-09-13T23:21:26.108-05:002010-09-13T23:21:26.108-05:00Oh, we all saw the signing the contract to have se...Oh, we all saw the signing the contract to have sex with strange men of her choosing at least once per year in the original letter. It was a hexidecimal code, within a certain pattern of letters spelling out the first clue, in Cherokee. But most of us just perceived it via an unexplainable "gut feeling."<br /><br /><br />Truth is, if I were richer than God, I'd be a lot like the ex-GF and would showever people and institutions with dead Presidents without expecting payback, so what kind of untrusting hypocrite am I??herdThinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11243614435958257781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-29331569792959527952010-09-13T18:15:31.547-05:002010-09-13T18:15:31.547-05:00Ahoy, herdThinner! I enjoyed your blog. And TC&#...Ahoy, herdThinner! I enjoyed your blog. And TC's collectibles! The custom dolls area is quite cool--and only a little stalkerish. ;-)<br /><br />As for your sister and LW#1, as I've mentioned in earlier defensive posts, if a person feels the least bit hinky about accepting the gifts, they shouldn't. :-) Only if there are no issues. That's all. Man! It sounds as if I've advocated that this woman sign a contract to have sex with strange men of the ex-GF's choosing at least once per year, with no notice or choice! :-)<br /><br />Anyway, I do understand that there's potential downside. I'm just ever-hopeful, I guess, that the ex-GF is on the level.<br /><br />Good cheer, herdThinner, and thanks for sharing your blog and site! :-)SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-70261179761820554802010-09-13T17:55:11.825-05:002010-09-13T17:55:11.825-05:00Thank you for noticing my sweet and gentle respons...Thank you for noticing my sweet and gentle response to LW#3, MM! I've learned from the best! :-)<br /><br />As to the several people whose creep-o-meter is going off, thought I respect their opinions, MM (and I *do*!), I didn't hear any creep-o-meter-worthy comments from our illustrious LW. As such, you are correct, I'm going to forward my own agenda! :-)<br /><br />Now, I will admit to the possibility that I'm totally and completely wrong, but, consider this. An older, very well-off woman has given a sizable amount of money to a former lover. This woman probably has some standing in the community, is likely seen as powerful, or at least dignified. She probably enjoys that status and the status of being somewhat philanthropic. Even if not, I doubt she wants to be seen as a controlling old hag. I could be wrong, but, I'm guessing I'm not, just based on human nature and based on the fact that she's given so much scratch as a wedding gift. Sad thing is, I doubt the gift even made her sweat.<br /><br />Do you think a woman like that is going to sue anyone over the fact that they didn't use the money exactly as she prescribed? Yes, certainly she could! I don't deny that. But *would* she? Would she want the information that it was given to her former lover out there, and how he's now defied her? I just don't see any threat here. Again, as I say, I'm willing to admit that I'm wrong. I'm willing to admit that I'm forwarding my own agenda, but, I'm pretty good with human nature, too. Not as good as you, perhaps, but pretty good. So, I'm willing to stick my neck out on this one. If that posture gets me kicked in the ear hole, so be it. It won't be the first time. ;-)<br /><br />Good cheer, Diving Buddy. And yes, please, may I have those spankings in triplicate? I really, really deserve them. ;-)SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-81816759320089761012010-09-13T17:47:56.087-05:002010-09-13T17:47:56.087-05:00Kati, not to make light of your ability to enterta...Kati, not to make light of your ability to entertain yourself with yourself, but, just so you know, I do that all the time when I'm surfing the Inter...wait. Is that TMI? ;-)<br /><br />As for the little pills, I reckon this woman needs to learn a lesson from this experience. Hopefully, she will. :-)<br /><br />Good cheer, Kati! :-)SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-8946670464214771782010-09-13T17:45:58.686-05:002010-09-13T17:45:58.686-05:00Ahoy, Ms. Scarlet! I love it when you bring down ...Ahoy, Ms. Scarlet! I love it when you bring down the boom like that! :-) Excellent stuff! Especially the bone of contention bit. ;-)<br /><br />Cheers!SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-33488246018577576802010-09-13T17:44:25.443-05:002010-09-13T17:44:25.443-05:00Agreed Robin. And though, apparently, she could t...Agreed Robin. And though, apparently, she could take them to court, I seriously doubt she would. I think that's something the LW would have picked up on. She didn't mention the education part of the money as strings. Just as what it was. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Jeez, I oughta copyright that phrase! Although, I'm guessing Freud wouldn't be too happy about that. ;-)<br /><br />Good cheer! :-)SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-26125297005173462112010-09-13T17:42:26.214-05:002010-09-13T17:42:26.214-05:00Ahoy, clhriker! I agree with you that if the woma...Ahoy, clhriker! I agree with you that if the woman's RADAR goes off that something's not quite right, then she shouldn't accept it. But, I just didn't find that in the letter! I know I may be being dense, but, I don't see it anywhere. And I've combed it.<br /><br />Here's what she says. This is ALL she says on the subject:<br /><br />She is a good person, and I don't view her as a threat. For our wedding gift, she gave us (gulp) $50,000 to be set aside for our children's college tuition. She can afford it, but a part of me feels uneasy about accepting such a large amount of money from his former girlfriend.<br /><br />The only thing that she lists as an issue is feeling uneasy about accepting such a large sum of money. From his former GF. So, it's not money. It's the large sum. And it's not the GF. She's a good person and not perceived as a threat. So, to me, that takes us back to, "Whoa, this is A LOT of cash!" My response was written in an effort to point that, heck yeah it is! And you have a nice person willing to give it to you. Well-heeled older people do this all the time, actually. May have earned their money and comfortable lifestyles via investments, and they figure starting a fund now for a brand new (or non-existent baby) will make the gift that much more valuable when it comes time for use.<br /><br />Based on what we've been told (or not been told), I don't think the woman has any intentions of exercising any control over this issue. Maybe I'm wrong, though. I've been before! :-)<br /><br />Good cheer! :-)SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-45828533417811181372010-09-11T18:01:29.297-05:002010-09-11T18:01:29.297-05:00Ah, so she can be even more of a pest. Why am I n...Ah, so she can be even more of a pest. Why am I not surprised about the legalities??<br /><br />By the way, I'm 43, have never bought government bonds (see Smag's original response!), and don't think I'll live another 30 years. Should I buy them, anyway?herdThinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11243614435958257781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-11413339926177589682010-09-11T12:12:44.403-05:002010-09-11T12:12:44.403-05:00Herdthinner, there IS a legal way she can enforce ...Herdthinner, there IS a legal way she can enforce it.<br /><br />If someone gives you a conditional gift (a gift which stipulates how it will be used) and you accept that gift under those terms, that is a contract. If you do not use that gift for its intended purpose, you have broken the contract, and it is considered theft, and you could be sued for the money back. Or, her heirs could sue, if she's passed away and they find out the money wasn't used to send the kids to college.<br /><br />What the ex-girlfriend is doing is buying a vested interest in her ex-boyfriend's children. Ew. I wouldn't go within 10 feet of that money. Uh uh. No way.Mermaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17583754215885030959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-10327157859443681212010-09-11T01:52:00.612-05:002010-09-11T01:52:00.612-05:00I'm going to get the shameless plug for my new...I'm going to get the shameless plug for my new blogspot out of the way before the Response Thang:<br />http://herdthinnersden.blogspot.com<br /><br />There. Go play.<br /><br />LW1 - Super-Smagtastic Bubble Plastic, I can't get down with you on that, either. Now a parent or grandparent bequeathing that kind of dough, yeah, bring it on!, but an ex-gf, or whatever she was? She already announced what it's supposed to be for, and even if there were no legal way she could enforce it (....right?), people can be pests when they attach stipulations to their "gifts" and don't see things done their way.<br /><br />Years ago my oldest sister offered to buy me a new car, and I resisted the hell out of that, because I was afraid of strings being attached and hate owing and being owed - like, owing her the money for the car, but she's not that way. She... likes giving extragavant gifts. And that's her thing. But, I'm still uncomfortable being given gifts that I couldn't possibly match, and always will be.<br />So I gotta side with LW on this.<br /><br /><br />LW2 - not having worked in a "male-dominated field," what does that even mean anymore? Is it supposed to mean that they hit each other and give each other insulting nicknames and swear constantly and play pranks and "haze" each other, or is that all obsolete stereotyping these days? I mean, when no women are in the office, they still use the latrine and not their wastebaskets when they gotta go, right?<br /><br />Anyway, tell the guy to knock it off, or something. Even I would still muster a "WTF?!" at having work literally thrown at me, and I'm First Act George McFly Non-Confrontational, you know? But a response to that would be practically a reflex action for me.<br /><br /><br />LW3 - yikes. The economy blows like Moby Dick. I can't improve on your words, so won't try.<br /><br /><br />LW4 - {{sigh}} Yeah, you go, girl. A Dream Girl, you are. Have fun back in the dating scene, or whatever kids these days call it.herdThinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11243614435958257781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-14999390768925345742010-09-10T23:13:00.385-05:002010-09-10T23:13:00.385-05:00Captain, Mermaid is sorely disappointed in you.
...Captain, Mermaid is sorely disappointed in you. <br /><br />Regarding LW#1 ~ It is clear that you want that money, you'd take that money, and you would say or do anything to justify doing so. More than one person has told you that their Creep-o-Meter is going off, and yet you run around with your fingers in your ears going "lalalalalala". You deserve a spanking for that this week! :(<br /><br />However, you slightly redeem yourself with your response to LW#3. :)<br /><br />Don't worry, I'm still going to spank you. :PMermaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17583754215885030959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-26915479356530526002010-09-10T17:24:08.730-05:002010-09-10T17:24:08.730-05:00Smaggy, I just told myself something funny and, as...Smaggy, I just told myself something funny and, as usual,, I'm laughing at my own joke and am amazed by my ability to entertain myself with myself...<br /><br />The thing to do with the pill bottle is to secretely replace the pills with look alike placebos, and then see if it affects his ability to get it up! This will show what the pills are really for, though I understand placebos sometimes work just as well without all those pesky side effects (like going blind, or turning blue, etc)Katihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05645682203535768013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-54960335183423625832010-09-10T14:24:04.063-05:002010-09-10T14:24:04.063-05:00Dear Prudie,
I have the most wonderful, amazing, p...Dear Prudie,<br />I have the most wonderful, amazing, perfect girlfriend in the world! I couldn’t love her more! Except one thing…she’s really judgmental and it makes me afraid to share anything with her! Plus, she doesn’t respect boundaries, so I have to keep her from snooping in all my stuff!<br /><br />So, I know what you’re thinking: I don’t see how this could EVER become an issue. But see, I have (whisper) erectile dysfunction. And I’m only 24! I don’t know if it’s an emotional issue – since every time she sees me naked I have to worry about her being all judgy and whatnot – the stressful time I’m having in my life, or if I’m just a different kind of guy or what, but it’s really embarrassing! Since, y’know, I’m expected to be all young and virile and everything! And I don’t want to make it worse by telling her and her getting all worked up and jumping to conclusions. She might think there’s something wrong with me - or her! And since the doc prescribed me something, it’s all taken care of, and I was thinking if I could just get through this, maybe I can stop taking the meds eventually and I’ll never have to tell her.<br /><br />My question is, how do I deal with her drama when she finds out (because she will whether I tell her or not)? I don’t want this to be a bone of contention between us – oh, sorry, Prudie, just following your lead!<br />-Embarrassed Boyfriend of “Supportive” GirlfriendMiss Scarlethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17696830519822418337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-25855405111195537242010-09-10T13:52:28.073-05:002010-09-10T13:52:28.073-05:00Yes! Thank you clhriker! I thought the same thing:...Yes! Thank you clhriker! I thought the same thing: You "LOVE working in male-dominated field"? Really? Because it sounds like you don't love it and can't really handle standing up to any kind of friction in the workplace (male-dominated or otherwise). I thought I was reading something a 7-year-old wrote...then I realized even 7-year-olds usually say, "Quit it, already!" Yeesh!Miss Scarlethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17696830519822418337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-31833902811652136972010-09-10T11:59:00.096-05:002010-09-10T11:59:00.096-05:00LW1 oughtta take the money and run. Sure, the old ...LW1 oughtta take the money and run. Sure, the old lady might INTEND for strings to be attached but what exactly is she gonna do about it? Take 'em to court when she doesn't get her way?<br /><br />I love the mention of several wedding showers - these are the kinds of people who give weddings a bad name! Seed money for their house??? Christ, what happened to a toaster?<br /><br />Yeesh.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15615897116278553663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-52453266250110938142010-09-10T10:42:04.337-05:002010-09-10T10:42:04.337-05:00TGIF to all. I know it was a short week but those...TGIF to all. I know it was a short week but those always seem to be the most hectic?!<br /><br />I'm with those questioning the generous gift of LW1. I say if a woman's radar goes off that something is not quite right, then probably something is not quite right. The two things she said that sent up my radar were "I don't view her as a threat" and "but part of me feels uneasy about accepting..". If she didn't feel a threat, then why is she writing to the internet lady for advice?<br /><br />To me, it reeks of messy attached strings (and generally I'm Mrs. Optimistic, but this one...)<br /><br />To the rest of the responses, I say 'yep yep yep!' <br /><br />Nothing irks me more that a woman in a 'male dominated' field (which is where I've been my whole work life, I work w/ all men, I talk to almost all men on the phone all day selling automotive aftermarket stuff) who trys to get her point across by being coy, hinting and other 'girly' methods of communication. Is it seriously that hard to say exactly what you need/want? "If you want me to take care of your paperwork, then put it in my inbox!" Obviously this guy is a jerk, either because he resents women in his workplace or just in general. She needs to stop the games and be direct! <br /><br />Ok, sorry if I was rambling on. It's been one of those crazy weeks!! Hope everyone enjoys the weekend.clhrikernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-19003458909024107462010-09-10T07:01:31.023-05:002010-09-10T07:01:31.023-05:00Ahoy, Cantahamster! Agreed. I see no indication ...Ahoy, Cantahamster! Agreed. I see no indication in the letter that there's anything creepy here. The LW mentioned the giver's age, financial status and the fact that she'd "enjoyed time" with the LW's fiancé, but nothing about feeling creeped out or threatened by her. A gift shouldn't automatically be suspect. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, yes? ;-)<br /><br />Much good cheer! :-)SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-1343161104971366742010-09-09T22:40:16.452-05:002010-09-09T22:40:16.452-05:00Hi SmagBoy,
Only one of these made me talk to myse...Hi SmagBoy,<br />Only one of these made me talk to myself all day at work:<br />The benign interpretation of the Big Donor in Letter 1 is that she's so terribly excited by the future happiness of her ex boy toy that she's expressing it with a manic sum of money. Mmm, It's possible.<br />The creepy interpretation is more like something out of Sunset Boulevard, or Camilla/Charles/Diana.<br /><br />Yes, I would say she is trying to buy a stake in your future family, with what might be a friendly intent. I've heard of families where an ex-step mother so yearned to be a grandma, or an ex-sil so yearned to be an aunt, that they sent cards and presents to the child, and were welcomed as 'old family friends'--these are unusually tolerant families, but the more love the better with children, right? <br /><br />So if you can truly be friendly enough with her --as a couple--to imagine inviting her to the occasional ceremonial event, as 'our friend from way before you were born', that's lovely. <br /><br />Talk through that scenario thoroughly, especially if you have a counseling relationship with your wedding officiant. <br />Also, talk it over with a tax/legal specialist: a gift that large might have tax consequences on either side; is it even possible to set up a trust for babies yet un-conceived? <br />I think the strings attached, that is, should be made pretty specific and legal, in her own interest as well as yours. <br /><br />You get your story straight between you, and then sit down with her together. The Lead is, 'this is so generous, we are so grateful.'<br />Then (if you think she's doing this because she's off her meds, and will rue the day)--"but we really can't accept such a lavish present." <br />That's if you really think she's creepy, and are really ready to blow her off.<br /><br />Or, "and we'd like to do this properly, so that we're sure your gift is used as you would wish"--where she's the original trustee of a trust account, but that could pass to your husband if she dies. What happens if you don't have kids, or if they aren't college material, or if they are but don't want to go, or if you'd rather send them to private middle school and let college take care of itself, or if you have foster/adopted kids?...spell it all out, and if she's still willing, you're protected from various kinds of uncertainty.<br /><br />THere, maybe I can sleep tonight.<br />Calm seas to all--Cantahamsterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03776333924946242971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-13209085126618239292010-09-09T18:28:29.780-05:002010-09-09T18:28:29.780-05:00Ahoy, JayJay! Good stuff, and I agree with it all...Ahoy, JayJay! Good stuff, and I agree with it all, except, of course LW#4. :-)<br /><br />I mean, sure, I understand the *gist* of your point, but, when you say, "...maybe it's innocent...but maybe not", I just can't think of anything about using it that might be untoward? Of course, having never used the stuff (honest!), I don't know what sort of recreational or other uses there can be, but, I just figured that it was for keeping it up longer/more often? Maybe it gets people high? Heck if I know. But, as far as something sinister, you'll have to help me out with what that might be. :-)<br /><br />Good cheer, as always! :-)SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-49519411706598604132010-09-09T18:25:48.785-05:002010-09-09T18:25:48.785-05:00Ahoy to you, STC! And greetings!
Yeah, I was in ...Ahoy to you, STC! And greetings!<br /><br />Yeah, I was in a foul mood earlier today. I'm still there. One day I might learn to be nice. Maybe. :-)<br /><br />Good cheer there, Mate!SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-22589495598286339762010-09-09T18:24:32.815-05:002010-09-09T18:24:32.815-05:00afa"F", I LOVE that video! Especially n...afa"F", I LOVE that video! Especially now that we know that he was just busy being himself. Hey, he got way more than his 15 minutes, eh?<br /><br />Cheers! :-)SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-90498476695108715342010-09-09T15:35:33.222-05:002010-09-09T15:35:33.222-05:00As to LW1- Dear Dad, why the F weren't you get...As to LW1- Dear Dad, why the F weren't you getting it on with this woman before you met my mom?!!? <br />LW2- Don't do anything. Just go home and cry about it ok? <br />LW3- I'm with you Smaggie, maybe they can bunk together until mom can find a new job or becomes eligible for social security? It is nice to hear from someone that has both a real problem AND a conscience every now and then. <br />LW4- IDK, although she's violated his privacy, he's been dishonest, at least by omission. I think maybe you were too harsh on her. She's probably freaked out thinking that he's either on so many antidepressants (that she doesn't know about) that he can't get it up, or he's screwing so many other people that he needs help keeping up. Sure, maybe it's innocent...but maybe not.<br />Best:)<br />JJayJayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13187548426068615722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-12086664600035680222010-09-09T14:30:56.501-05:002010-09-09T14:30:56.501-05:00What happened to the gentle, kind-hearted, sweet t...What happened to the gentle, kind-hearted, sweet talking Smagboy of yore? Don't know. Don't care. DID rather like the hugs and kisses to LW2, I must say. Haze this, I say.<br /><br />Keep 'em coming, you big softie. One day you'll toughen up on these guys a little!<br /><br />Cheers my brother - STCSchuyler =^oo^=https://www.blogger.com/profile/05022527448487356922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5243415857143630995.post-4750889086226617732010-09-09T12:24:13.385-05:002010-09-09T12:24:13.385-05:00Smag,
I like to be an ungrateful lad and want mor...Smag,<br /><br />I like to be an ungrateful lad and want more more more! :). besides the price of this stuff is right! :).<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc&feature=fvwasking for a "friend"noreply@blogger.com